Tomb Raider 3 Rumors

my reference was to some nastiness going on at another thread. it’s complex because i really don’t want to name "names" or get deeper into the situation. suffice it to say that EA will remain a nice place because i’m going to keep my "mouth" shut. # 2099 | gitane |You know gitane althoud I said EA is a nice place, I don´t meant it was perfect as well. I believe it was more perfect before a certain person had joined there. Needless to say her few inputs were enough to have to close a thread for the first time before things would get out of hand. But she´s still there thanks to a certain "empowered" member. Oh well, it´s better to pass this on and not mention "names" as you said.

thank you for your work

I keep forgetting to put my disclaimer on these fics, so here goes: I made this **** up. Any resemeblence to Jennifer Aniston is not accidental, but since she’s a celebrity she has to take her lumps like a woman and can’t sue my broke ass.++++++++++++++++When X Met Brit===============Once upon a time a wise man said, "**** happens." What Jennifer couldn’t figure out was why said **** always happened to her. Life just wasn’t fair, dammit.Up until 2 years ago she had been living the perfect life that she’d always wanted. She was a hugely successful actress…okay, it was tv, and sitcom tv at that, but dammit, success is success is success. Especially when it paid a million bucks per week for acting like a thoughtless airhead.Jennifer had not only a successful career, but she had the perfect husband. And she did mean P-E-R-F-E-C-T. Afterall, what woman in her right mind didn’t want to be married to "The Brad Pitt." The man was so damned gorgeous he made her look plain…and let me tell you, Jennifer knew that was a hard thing to do. Brad had those piercing blue eyes, that sly smile that Jennifer just knew would get her knocked up one day - if she let her guard down that is - those cute little dimples that only showed when he smiled a certain way, and that body. Oh God. That body. Those washboard abs, the tight butt, those lips…that tongue..those fingers…and most imporantly Mr. *****. It was hers. All hers. And then That ***** happened. "Gggggrrrrrr!!!! AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Why are you torturing me like this, God? She stole my Braddy and I want him back, dammit! Why, God, why! What did I do that was soooooo bad? All I ever wanted was to be a big fat movie star…okay, not "fat" fat…but big fat…and maybe even phat fat, but you know…a mega movie star, loved by all…even more than Sally Field because I’d have 3 Oscars to her 2! Why, God, why?! Why take my Braddy from me? He was my lifeline…"Jennifer paused in mid-rant and quickly turned her head from one side to the other, then turned in a circle and looked at the surrounding rocks. She was at her favorite spot on her private beach and she was doing her second favorite thing in the world…okay, third favorite…her first favorite was smoking, her second was exercising, her third was yelling at the ocean and howling at the moon. The only problem was that she could’ve sworn she’d heard laughter just now. And if there was laughter that meant she wasn’t alone. Not alone as in not "private". Some ******* was tresspassing on her private beach and she wasn’t about to put up with someone invading her privacy. Especially not some rank paparazzo who’d been sitting in hisr car all day drinking coffee and smoking ciggies while he stalked her!"Alright, *******! I know you’re out there. Show yourself and then get the hell off my beach or I’m calling the cops to haul your ass to the local jail…you ******* pervert!"Turning her head to once side Jennifer stopped talking long enough to see if she could hear anyone moving around. She did hear something but because of the darkness she wasn’t sure if it was human, animal or just the damned tide coming in."Okay…you piece of ****…you’ve got 10 seconds to show yourself and then I’m calling the cops!"Ooh…what’s that? A definite rustling noise. Looking to her right Jennifer sees someone slowly emerge from the rocks. Someone blond. Some fat. Damn…someone blonde and fat. What razzi did she know of that was blond and fat? Damn. She hated fat girls. They were all jealous of her beautifully toned physique. And they damned well should be! Looking back at her visitor Jennifer continued to size her up. "Ooh…blond, fat…and wearing tacky, cheap, styrofoam platform flip-flops." Ah, ****…nah. Not her! Not tonight! on all the beaches, on all the coasts, in all the world…she walks onto mine!"Hey, Jen! Sorry…I didn’t mean to disturb you," Britney said, wiggling the fingers of her right hand in a friendly gesture as her left hand rested on her protruding belly. Britney slowly came forward until she stood a few feet away from Jennifer.All Jennifer could think to herself was, "****. She’s not fat. It’s even worse…she’s pregnant! Goddammit! Why does every woman I run into have to be pregnant! Just because I’m not ready to have kids doesn’t mean that every other woman with a working uterus has to ******* have 9 of babies each!""Hey Brit. Long time no see….so…whattaya doin’ on my beach?""Well, Jen…technically it’s not "your" beach. It belongs to all the home-owners on this side of the cove."Crap. Who knew the little bimbo actually read the **** her lawyers put before her?"Well, Brit…technically that’s true…but since you’re standing on the beach right behind my house, I think I’m more entitled to be here than you are." Take that you stupid baby factory!"Why are you being so mean to me?! Bbbbbbwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything’s so hard right now and now my neighbors are all picking on me, too! Even that wierdo Mel Gibson is blaming me for stuff I can’t do anything about…okay, I could do something about the partying at my house, but I’m like young and I like, like to have fun and stuff and he’s just pissed because his kids are always over at my house and stuff and he’s not invited cuz you know he’s some kind of wierd religous freak, ya know and I don’t understand what he’s talkin’ about most of the time and stuff…""I’m not picking on you, Spears! Sheesh. Settle down. I just want you off my beach so I can be alone.""But I was here first! And I’m more famous than you are, so I think that means that I get my way before you get yours!""What? Oh, no, you don’t, little girl! I am waaaaaayyyyyyy more famous than you and I’ve been more famous longer than you, so that means that I get MY way and you have to leave!""That is like so totally not fair! You’re just all old and stuff!""Excuse me? Did you just call me old? I’m not old! I’m a perfectly good age for a grown woman!"Cocking her head to one side Britney considered Jennifer’s last comment and said the first thing that came into her mind…as is her wont, "Well, I think maybe it’s just all that tanning that you do that makes you look like super old and stuff. My mom is your age and she’s always telling me to stay outta the sun sose I don’t get all brown and wrinkly and stuff real young cuz that kinda stuff ain’t that good for the skin cuz it makes it all leathery and stuff and Ma says that there’s only gonna be so much that plastic surgery can do for me once I get all leathery-looking, so I better take care of my skin now cuz it’s the only one I’m gonna have and I wanna, like, look hot and stuff when I get as old as you are. That’s why I’m having babies young, ya know? Sose I can have time to get my body back in shape and look like totally, totally awesome and like have a career and like be like influential and wise and stuff for my kinds when I’m like 30 and even older than that. I don’t wanna wait until my eggs are like dried up and stuff and I have to take a bunch of drugs and stuff to even get pregnant…cuz Ma says that’s what happens when a woman waits until she’s like YOUR AGE to start having babies and that sometimes you just never can get pregnant when you’re that old and then you’ll end up childless and all alone and like playing with your sister or brother’s kids instead of your own cuz, like life passes you by and that kinda thing."As Jennifer stood with her mouth hanging open she had a thought, "***** just insulted me! After what I just went through with Vaughn there’s no way I’m gonna take this from this cheap ho!""Gee, Brit, since your mama is so wise I wonder why she never told you that chewing gum with your mouth open and wearing bad hair extensions is like, so like, totally not cool…and stuff."Sometimes Britney liked to pretend she was dumber than she was. Well, today wasn’t one of those days. She’d spent the whole day dodging the razzi. She’d almost dropped her little boy on his butt in front of hundreds of people and to top matters off Kevin had actually had the nerve to ask her for more money so he could "top off" his stash. The last thing she needed was to take **** off some pissant, has-been tv actress who couldn’t hang on to Brad Pitt!"You know, Jen…my mama never mentioned that…but…she did teach me how to keep a man satisfied so he wouldn’t leave me for Angelina Jolie.""What? What did you just say you little guttersnipe!""I think you heard me just fine…Jen. Unless of course the roar of Brad’s departure has left you deaf.""HA! I knew it! I knew it! You ****** little *****! That dumb blond stuff is all an act!""No! Haven’t you heard, Jen? I can’t act worth ****. Kinda like you.""Okay…that’s it, *****! I don’t care if you are preggers with the spawn of even whiter trash than yourself…I’m not taking this crap from some ****** little, no-talent, Madonna wannabe with more hair than brains and terrible taste in men and not enough sense to not to marry a gold-digger AND get knocked up by him twice!""Look who’s talking about bad taste in men! Kevin may not be a prize, but when I’m finally through with his ass, at least no one will be saying that I lost Brad Pitt!""AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Would you quit saying that! I did NOT lose Brad Pitt! I file for the divorce, *****! Not him. ME! ME, dammit, ME!!!!""Hmm…if Brad didn’t leave you then why are you out here yelling at the moon asking God why he took him away from you?""Uh…""Yeah…BUSTED. That’s what I thought. Well, Jen…it’s been fun running into you…but I’ve gotta go now. I have a child to take care of. I believe the razzi are waiting for me about a half mile away. I’ve got to go pretend to be stupid again. It was sure nice talking to ya, though! Bye now!"Jennifer stood there with her mouth hanging open as the big, fat, blond in the tacky, too-tight short-shorts and the tight,white t-shirt made her way down the beach. It wasn’t until Britney was almost 20 feet from her that it occured to Jennifer that there was something written on the back of Britney’s t-shirt…"Team Jolie"."Well…****."THE END

# 2107 | Passing Through -LMAO. Well as much as you don’t like Britney PT, you do have one thing in common- Team Jolie. =)

# 2107 | Passing Through | DARN YOU!!! I am supposed to be sleeping, but when you said you would have a fic tonite, well curiousity kill the cat :) Of course I had to wait, and am glad I did. You are very talented :))) Bye…

HaHAHAHAHAHhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAH!ROTFLMAO!. That AGAIN…. was so frickin’ funny I have tears rolling down my cheeks. NO LIE. My side hurts from laughing so hard. PT you are the best. I like the romantic stuff too but this is my cup of tea. Oh Jah that was FUNNY!!!! I am glad you are vacation because we might get more?????????? Thanks. I hope Guli can read this before she goes.

# 2107 | Passing Through |geez I come back here [jj's] and I see some names on the left side and of course that means another fanfic!! what a prize lol. Anywho, this was effing hilarious!!! britney & X? back to back talk? funnnnnnyyyyyyy; yea i also noticed like lol. But the deal breaker was the team jolie tshirt—–hahahahahahha. Thanks PT =)

# 2113 | Moi Jade Moi…I’m not on vacay. I was just trying to hitch a free ride with Guli on HERS! Her plans for the summer are infinitely better than mine…which is nothing but going to work!

# 2107 | Passing ThroughLMFAO! PT you rock! now, didn’t that feel good?

# 2119 | gitane Gitane…as you know…it ALWAYS feels good to trash X. But, doggonit…it’s getting to easy. Can’t that woman learn a little humilty? For someone who’s supposedly very insecure she sure is big-headed!

Passing Through:LMFAO!!!!!!!!!That was GREAT!

laughing in front of my computer