Baby Shiloh meets Baby Kingston!!!!

just STFU!

C2 long post, so skip over if either bothers you. It’s also an old thread. # 277 | malaya Don’t mean to pry but I read something about it in one of the threads.Hi there, Malaya. Know this, of all the BAMZS fans/supporters, you are the one I go back the longest with. I consider you my longest standing friend in BAMZS land. And your cyber friendship is the one I’d like to take with me, but I am that gypsy so I’m basically unreliable. Well, maybe not that unreliable as I am still friends with a few people I’ve met on the Internet for over 6 years and counting. Lately, I’m not that reliable with newer cyber friends. If I weren’t, you’d be at the top of that list! Should I continue to mention how many "real" friends I have, as if I were counting the number of autographs in my yearbooks as one school friend did? (Yeah, even then, I thought that was pathetic, as is X’s constant wrapping herself around her friends. So much for her separate identity.)Plus, you and I were comrades-in-arm at that Wench First site, so there is a special bond with us. We’ve earned our stripes, didn’t we? (Boy, it was once fun messing with them, too.) So, please never feel you are prying into anything appearing to be a private conversation. Mi convo, su convo. But I will admit that often I don’t like that conversations are so open that everybody can eavesdrop. By everybody, I have in mind mainly the haters and my own hater-fans (the ones proclaiming to hate me but can’t help follow me and hang on my every words just as AG, PT and Cliniqua have their own hater-fans as well). Worst, they occasionally take the words I’ve used for their twisted hatred. To hell with them, right? Thank you (and Original Curious, Zaiyana, Moi Jade, Malibumom and PT from awhile back which I failed to acknowledge then) for the good wishes and thoughts. We’re in a holding pattern and we haven’t learned anything more. It’s all counterintuitive to me, but what do I know? It’s not my idea of medical science. If I could condense all the years of medical education, internship and residency within a few days as with Matrix downloading, I’d be on that to take over the damn job myself. Actually, I wouldn’t as we need the experts.In the meantime, I’m going to go with this C2-lite operation. Truth be told, I just don’t have much to contribute anyway. I’m tapped out, and I’m all talked out of the B/A/J saga. BUT, I never tire of ridiculing X, as she is my proverbial pinata that I can easily hit blindfolded. So, it’s a convergence of events. But while I still have a flicker in me, I’d like to follow up on your comments into unchartered territory of the emasculation of Asian male. Beep, beep, make way…or San Francisco Chinatown method, bump, bump, get out of the way! Comments are also for Joy, who replied to me in message #606 in a thread I’ve lost track of. Generally speaking, I’m in agreement with you on Vince’s crack as he is small potatoes - actually a beanstalk with a gut, but little fingerlings nonetheless. He isn’t a policy maker. He isn’t influential. Hell, I’ve yet to be convinced he’s even a bigtime player in Hollywood other than riding on bigger stars’ coattails and milking a relationship that is as interesting as track homes in Dullsville. What is interesting, in context of the background of MAMS in terms of both Brad and Angie as parents of an Asian boy and Simon Kinberg’s love of Hong Kong films (I knew he borrowed a lot of John Woo tricks, which he oddly didn’t mention in his audio commentary), is how that crack got passed by without any apparent scrutiny. Where was the sensitivity for Asian sensibilities? Or did they think that because the insult was targeted just about Filipinos, the rest of the Asians wouldn’t mind - as latent bigots often think one offense doesn’t transfer to the other? Well, we wouldn’t know if questions were ever raised or not. Regardless, that Asian crack at the expense of Asian guys is an ingrained cheapshot that is belittling. As I’ve noted before, it’s a real sore spot for Asian guys on radical Asian sites, as many feel Asian males are subjected to emasculation in American culture. *Gags* Sixteen Candles? Nerds. Losers. Ineffectual, asexual weak Asian man, even losing Asian women to the White man. Or worst, the persona non-grata in American society nowhere to be seen, even in professions where Asians are prevalent, such as health care and law. Here’s an interesting aside of a recent survey I saw on TV of the premium women would require to date certain men. Asian men had the highest premium for a woman to be interested in him. Sorry, the rest of the details are lost in the netherworlds of useless information overload. As far as media and mainstream go, Asian men are so misrepresented I barely even recognize them as Asian men outside of their physical appearances, if they exist at all in that public realm. Bruce Lee is too far ago to keep mining as a role model. And no, importing of Asian "stars" doesn’t count either. Where are the homegrown Asian-American male figures? (I do like that "Lost" has a major Asian couple in the story lines, with a strong Asian male.) You minus well be an owl with the burning question: Who? Who? Who?As I’ve lived all my life in predominantly Asian communities, I was insulated by those types of racial insults of putdowns of Asian males (it was more of the trite and cliched general Asian slurs). The Asian guys I’ve known and are in my real life don’t have those insecurities, whether they are short or not. The Chinese guys are secure in their masculinity to cook for the family, help with the dishes and other household chores. My brothers, alone, defer the leadership role to me with family matters, even though I’m at the bottom of the birth rank. But of course, living in a community with a majority of Asians (over 40%) doesn’t mean I’ve been spared of any racial epithets even in a city that’s known to be overly civil and polite (but that kind of environment hides a lot of closeted racists and bigots behind the cloak of liberalism and progressiveness). As slurs typically go, they are entirely unoriginal, dull, impotent and predictably dated. It’s more eye-opening where the racist digs come from. From what Angie has said in interviews, I know she is conscious of the adoption background impacting on the self-esteem of her children in terms of their sense of love and identity in the family. Perhaps that is a legitimate concern. But what I see having far more prominence with Maddox (for sake of this argument, I’m singling him out) is not his identity within the family, but the identity of his ethnicity. I am confident that there will be no issues of his genuine place in the family, no matter how many biological children Brad and Angie eventually have. Their family is a blended one with adopted and biological children, with the lines blurred by the love of both parents for their children and Angie’s embracing a global perspective. It may be more muddled of Maddox’s Asianness in a sea of mostly non-Asians in the community he will be growing up in. In Malibu, Asians comprise only 2.5% of its population, with Whites making up 91.9% (by 2000 census) - not exactly diversity. Hollywood Hills may not be any better. Maddox will grow up like many other Asian-Americans feeling different because he looks different from the crowd. And as Angie’s childhood experiences have shown, being a celebrity child doesn’t necessarily spare a kid of the isolation and alienation.I was lucky in being immunized from that Asian identity issue, but many Asian children growing up in predominantly Caucasian communities can’t help feeling conflicted of their ethnic background. And it boils down to the tendency for individuals in social groups wanting to fit in and not stick out as a sore thumb. The Japanese have an adage that speaks of this conformity in that the nail that sticks up gets hammered. It happened with Lucy Liu, among other famous and not famous Asian-Americans. And the personal stories of growing pains by Asian-Americans I’ve heard actually came from people in Asian families. It says a lot about Lucy, as she is a Chinese-American, to have insecurities of her Chineseness. Normally, the Chinese are a proud people. But maybe that is more reinforced by overseas Chinese, where our culture couldn’t be dominated even by foreign invaders and rulers. Not by the Mongols. Not by the Manchus. Nor briefly by the Japanese. And not even by the Brits. None of them held dominion over the Chinese heart and mind. So there is none of that colonial mentality of inferiority that often prevails over citizens of former Western colonies. And frankly, Brad and Angie can’t rely on the media or mainstream for Asian representation as a model for Maddox. (Actually, I wouldn’t recommend anybody use the media as a standard for raising children or consciousness - whether of fiction or non-fiction.) We are the most under-represented, along with Native Americans as a presence in the media (except for local newscasts which inexplicably attract a lot of Asian-American females and that can’t be blamed on the Connie Chung phenomenon, who’s been thankfully kicked to the curb with her inane interviewing and singing skills). For Asian guys, forget about it. Poor Maddox will be hard-pressed to find any role models of prominent stature or in public. No, Norm Mineta doesn’t cut it as Secretary of Transportation, a figurehead in a filler cabinet position. In fact, he will be bombarded by images and "jokes" reinforcing the stereotypes of the hapless Asian male. If that story about Angie hearing someone remark about her distaste for dating an Asian guy, then Angie already has an inkling of what perceptions Asian males have to fight against. Believe me, those will be more sources of angst for a young Asian male than his adoption origins in Hollywood, which is increasingly embracing adoption. Having said all of that, I do trust Angie has a good strategy in mind, beginning with educating Maddox of his background, roots and genuinely loving Maddox’s Cambodian culture to impart onto him. But more important, her recognition and realization that Maddox will face racism based on his ethnicity. As such, I’m certain she will go to all lengths to provide Maddox with strong, positive Asian male images and role models for him to be proud of not only his background, but his identity as an Asian male. Dr. Haing S. Ngor, the Oscar-winning actor in "The Killing Fields" and community activist, would have been a great mentor for Maddox. He was a survivor in the truest sense, persevering the torture, repression, and persecution exacted by the Khmer Rouge. Unfortunately, though he escaped the mass genocide in Cambodia, he didn’t survive the mean streets of Los Angeles. Not many people think about the ramifications of insipid remarks or jokes, especially off-the-cuff ones, that on the surface mean nothing because they just don’t know or think about the context of those cutting words. What’s the harm, right? They’re only words. Here’s the kicker offenders usually rationalize: It’s just a joke, get a sense of humor. I’ll get a sense of humor when they think of a new joke that hasn’t been in the public domain for eons. Mind you, I’m not the overly PC type that demands sanitized dialogue in films without any racist slurs. If the character is a racist, of course, I expect to hear racist speech or else the character wouldn’t be genuine. Or the context reflects the times, as with Vietnam war, then by all means, they better speak the racist words of the times. I don’t want any whitewashed dialogue. I didn’t even hold John McCain’s racist insult against him as it came from the pain and wounds he suffered as a tortured POW. But of course, McCain shouldn’t brush a wide broadstroke of all Vietnamese as g***s. I’m not Filipino so I wasn’t sure how Filipinos took the crack. For me, as an Asian, it was awkward and it wasn’t funny. I’m just going to dismiss it as Vince sheltered in his homogenous Caucasian world where diversity doesn’t include Asians. So he just may not know better…and he’s just not funny. I hope that is the case and I’m not unwittingly enabling another philistine. Thank you Joy and Malaya for your comments. Further, Malaya, I was going to post the following reply to you couple of weeks back before a turn of events set me back. # 501 | malayainsults or offensive remarks that anyone throws at me or my people is trivial compared to the atrocities that these women and children has suffered.Malaya, I’m squarely with you on that. In life, there is a spectrum of setbacks, challenges, trials and tribulations that give one pause as to what is important in life. To be sure, I don’t want racist jokes, slurs or other personal offenses to be equated to the basic necessities of life or human decency when life may be hanging in the balance. Compared with that, it’s utterly pointless to engage in the negative energies of haters, as much as their lives are a pointless existence. In science, there’s a law of conservation of energy, where energy is neither created nor destroyed. But it gets transformed from one state to another. Though I never take any of the negativity to heart (even from the wenches), I’m wasting my energy on the negative that could have been productive and beneficial on the positive. In economics, it’s called opportunity cost. As such, I’m re-evaluating the time and energy I’m wasting with the haters. So, no, in the grand scheme of life, I wouldn’t get hanged up on whatever Vince shoots off with his mouth. I still enjoy MAMS purely from the interplay with Brad and Angie. Vince could well be a fire hydrant for a dog to piss on, for all I care. Frankly, I’ve been subjected to direct racist slur by a so-called friend to not be shocked. So, I have grown a thick skin about it. But I was curious as to how Filipinos, themselves, reacted to the DOA joke. But more than anything else these amazing men and women should serve as our inspiration to make this world a better place for all of us - to be aware and sensitive to our fellow men. Just to acknowledge that someone exist and has a right to exist in this planet is a start.If the world existed under that tenet, imagine what a better universe it would be and how much more humans can accomplish with the energies saved away from conflicts and clashes. I’ve been conscious from an early age to be sensitive of others and the inequities that divide. In junior high school, I was into Crazy Horse, among others, and my heart just broke of the historical injustices suffered by Native Americans and their current plight. And I would befriend outcasts even when my supposed friends would discourage me. There is an upside to treating everybody with the respect he or she matters. They will in turn treat you right, as well. Here is where I will piggyback off a comment made by Guli in the Refugee thread (again something I had drafted awhile back but didn’t post up). # 625 | guli "sometimes I don’t have the cash, they’ll go don’t worry you’ll pay the next time when I come by. Can you ever imagine that happening in US?"Sure can. It happens where I live. My dry cleaner is like that. He takes only cash, which is something I normally avoid. I’m all about plastic. I get bennies with my credit cards. Nothing with cash, but knowing where the cash has been. Anyway, he will let me take my clothes even if I haven’t paid in full for it. He tells me to pay him back later with no time table in mind. Another incident I can recall is when I tried to buy sand. (No Estelle, I wasn’t preparing for hurricane weather.) I went assuming that the owner would take credit cards. Wrong. As I don’t carry anything else (I would be a mugger’s waste of time), I couldn’t pay him. But like my dry cleaner, he allowed me to leave with the load of sand. I promised I would send him a check, and he trusted me. In writing this reply up, I remember my own Oprah-Hermes incident - though I didn’t push my weight around (granted Oprah is about two of me). I arrived late for an arranged pickup of materials because I got lost from wrong Yahoo directions. The manager had told me that they had a strict cutoff time by policy, and I came onto the scene nearly half an hour late. Lucky for me, the manager was out front taking his smoking break. But unlike Oprah, I didn’t demand the service time be extended. Nope, instead, when the manager asked if I could come the next business day, I hemmed and hawwed. "Ummmm, aaaah, uuuuhh…" Solely on his own (okay with a little subtle cajoling on my part), he agreed to let me go ahead in picking up the materials. Actually, he had someone load the materials into my car instead. To be sure, I didn’t make anyone stay late as their actual working hours were several hours longer than the cutoff time for loading. Of recent, because by habit of my greeting strangers I make eye contact with, I had established a kindly connection with a security guard manning a parking lot that limited to 30 minutes for loading and unloading. I asked him about a nearby garage validating and he told me not to worry about parking longer in the front parking lot. I ended up parking there for over 7 hours. That was a Saturday. I had to park there again during the week several times more. And again, I ran it by the security guards (the same one for one day and a different guard on another day) about extended parking in the front lot. Both were cool about it. The first one, who suggested I go ahead in parking in the lot, approved the second time with a "No problem, darling," while he placed his hand on my shoulder. I get those little breaks and unsolicited assistance here and there. Maybe it’s the city I live in. Or maybe it’s just me. O:) To me, by simply being polite and nice to people - whether strangers or business acquaintances, you just might get the same treatment back. Though, I must stress, I don’t go out being nice to get some favor. It’s just a more pleasant way to get through the day by making it pleasant for others, as my day is nicer when others are pleasant as well.