Why Vince Left Jen

LAURA DERN MY ASS

Here goes, listen up, and remember it the next time you want to play that lame butt card!
Billy Bob Thorton was married…..legally married to Pietra Cherniak, and Laura Dern was engaged to Jeff Goldblum when they met, and before Billy Bob Thorton divorced his wife, he and Dern moved in together.

Upon the end of her relationship with BBT, Laura Dern took up with a very married Ben Harper, and not only did she become pregnant with their first child before he was divorced, their son was 5 months old before the divorce was final.

My point is that there’s always two sides to a story, and before you decide that the one crying the blues the loudest must be the poor wronged “I would never do that to anybody” party, you might want to take the time to find out just how shiny/dull THEIR halo really is…….you might get a surprise. By the way, isn’t it funny that Laura Dern went silent on the subject of being dumped for another once she turned around and did to Ben Harper’s “wife”………operative word here since Miss Dern was never married to Billy Bob Thorton………..what she told the world Angelina did to her?

comment from March 8, 2006

I keep asking the question why:–
1) Why did Aniston lied to the public about “a baby is on the way” when she had no intention of conceiving?
2) Is the coupling of Vince and Jen a promotion gimmick?
3) Is the strategy of “are they or arent they” being used to promote the break up?
4) Was Jen ever geninue in dating Vince?
5) Did Vince finally know the truth and bail out?
6) Is Vince and Jen still friend or not talking?
7) Someone suggested Jen broke up with Tate Donovan knowing there is a better package out there, does this have any validity?
8) Was the break up with Donovan and the dating of Brad timeline co-incidental?
9) Did Jen have a hand on the smearing in the Vanity Fair interview comments?

I surrender this is one lost war.You continued also with your bad comments on JA and hope you are content to see its life to go always worse, inasmuch as it is the thing that more than all you renders happy. You say always the same things it’s passed nearly two years and you are to ask why she still here you do not have intentional children from Brad? Why he has allowed that interview to Vanity Fair? etc etc. Always the same thing. As perhaps haters of JA you would have to only be content that it is alone now and to wish that she remains in order always and not to pull in dance its always former ones that is happy with its new family. This thread is on a tabloid that it says that JA and VV are leave you, beh for who it believes and it hates JA to us is a joy for who it does not believe and it hates JA to us is one joy the same one. Therefore why not continued to say all the possible evil on she is left outside these old history, it would be better at least we would have the usual thread and not the old usual song.

I understand Jennifer Aniston is ambitious. Being ambitious is one thing, but to USE a person to achieve your purpose, I think this is LOW. She should know she is not dealing with a dog or a cat. She is dealing with a human being. Human being has feelings. To deceive Brad is bad. But to repeat this on another person is despicable.
It wont take long before people see through her duality.

I have no doubt that Vince will weather this, though unjustly !!! I hope, Vince you will find true love in the future.

This is what I dont understand. Jen has amassed a fortune. She did have fame. She did have a successful sitcom. When is she going to realize enough is enough.

TO # 245

YOU DELUSIONAL FEW want us to
believe that ppl don’t like Angie&Brad,
but do like Aniston! You are just sooooo
transparent.
By now, EVERYONE KNOWS (including
you) that merger was OVER/KAPUT/
FINITO (got it?!) before Brad met Angie.
Brad CHOSE to live, love, have family.
People don’t like Aniston. They are more
sick&tired of her–no wonder!
Men don’t like her b/c she is boring, plain,
HOMELY type of an aging woman.
Women don’t like her b/c she is sooooo
whiny, pathetic loser.
It is not only b/c of her PITY PARTY
MANIPULATIONS, BUT ALSO b/c she
does NOTHING but appears in the
tabloids all the time.
YOU KNOW I AM RIGHT (read again).

She is exactly like Paris Hilton, but PARIS
is at least young & prettier than Aniston.
This circus she created should end!
Just leave those REAL people with
their REAL CHILDREN out of your
pitiful existence.

Lucky for her she has those dogs. Aniston is such a (media)*****…she screws EVERYBODY over with her words constantly. How anybody can stand this woman or fall for her conniving crap is way beyond me. She disgusts me, always has, always will.

Just to add didn’t Jennifer Aniston admitted wanting to be all “a mother and career” so clearly for her motherhood IF she ever became one will not be traded with career, she’d still want to be a mother and an actress. Shame that she didn’t want that while she was married to Brad.

Hollywood – Madonna planned to adopt a baby boy during her recent visit to Malawi, but was prevented from doing so after Angelina Jolie filed a lawsuit for copyright infringement, Dateline Hollywood has learned. “Angelina has an exclusive contract making her the only celebrity allowed to adopt orphans from Africa,” explained Jolie’s publicist.

Madonna traveled to Malawi this week to visit orphanages and, according to government sources, planned to adopt a year-old boy. But at the last minute, the singer’s publicist informed journalists that she in fact was only helping with the building of an orphanage.

Dateline Hollywood has learned, however, that Madonna in fact did plan to adopt a baby boy, until she received a “cease and desist” letter from Angelina Jolie’s attorney.

“We did receive a letter from Ms. Jolie’s legal team and are complying with its demands,” confirmed Madonna’s spokesperson Liz Rosenberg. “I don’t know how they found us. She must have spies at every orphanage south of the Sahara.”

But reps for Jolie said the lawsuit was a matter of fairness.

“If Madonna was so eager to adopt an African baby, she should have gotten there last year before Angelina bought up the rights,” said Jolie’s publicist Cindy Guagenti. “ Looking at the crass way Madonna flew in there, with all those paparazzi following her around, it almost makes you think her visit to Africa and her adoptions plans were a big publicity stunt. Frankly, it makes me sick.”

Though Madonna has abandoned her plans to save an African infant away from his life of poverty and disease, Jolie has not dropped her lawsuit. As compensation for the publicity the singer received for her adoption plans, Jolie is demanding that Madonna donate at least $100,000 to the Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt foundation for African orphan rescue, where Jolie must be honored with a “lifetime achievement” award for her work on the issue.

Guagenti added that Jolie’s deal with Africa does not prohibit Madonna, or any other celebrity, from adopting an orphan from the continent:

“As Madonna knows, all she has to do to adopt an African baby is file an application with Angelina. If she and Brad approve the application, then they will travel to a poor African country, adopt the child in front of cameras, and then, upon their return to the U.S., quietly relinquish the orphan to Madonna without any press present. It’s only fair, since Angelina called dibs on Africa first.”

Her boobs are the same size. It’s ridiculous. They took a picture of her when looking super-skinny and added one with a good bra. Pathetic.

LIBBY INTERVIEWS…
JENNIFER ANISTON

Libby
First off, congratulations–I see married life agrees with you!!!

Jennifer
Thank you.

Libby
What I can’t understand is why you slipped away and did it so quietly.

I figure a big star like him, and some people know you, you could probably get Peopleto foot the bill and get free photos to boot!

Jennifer
We really didn’t want any publicity, we just wanted to keep it private.

Libby
Like your boobies?

Jennifer
I beg your pardon?

Libby
You know, the lawsuit.

Jennifer
I can’t talk about that.

Libby
Gotcha. Anyhoo, this slipping away and doing everything private–in my day that only meant one thing—have you got a little surprise coming?

Jennifer
I’m not pregnant if that’s what you mean.

Libby
It’s OK. honey you can tell me. Times are different now. Even I can be honest and say my little Siegried wasn’t 8 months premature.

Jennifer
Honestly, I’m not pregnant.

Libby
OK, hon whatever you say. Now, the best part is Gwyneth.

Jennifer
Excuse me?

Libby
Gwyneth. What a coup! It strikes a blow for plain girls everywhere. Big star, Academy Award winner. And here’s little Jen with her failed movie career and her tired little sitcom. You must have been dying to see her face… Did you invite her?

Jennifer
What?

Libby
Oh, I can see why you wouldn’t , but honey, Gwyneth Paltrow wouldn’t steal a man on his wedding day, she’s a nice girl, wonderful family.

Jennifer
I wasn’t worried about that… Brad and I…

Libby
He’s still hurting huh? Well you can’t blame him. Look honey, there is nothing wrong with being second best. I’m telling you that from personal experience. You learn to cook, gussy yourself up a little more, do a little contouring on the jaw line– He’ll grow to love you.

But I know how it feels. I can’t blame you for being jealous and threatened, I mean Gwyneth’s got it all.

Jennifer

Actually I don’t feel jealous. I love Brad and I know that he loves me. We…

Libby
What is your favourite Gwyneth Paltrow film?

Jennifer
I thought you wanted to talk about me…

Libby
OK hon sure can do. Let’s see your father John Aniston is an actor. He appeared in the soap opera Days of Our Livesand your mother Nancy Aniston, is a photographer, actress and model, right?

Jennifer
Right.

Libby
What is their favourite Gwyneth Paltrow film?

Libby’s note:
I am so sick of temperamental stars. Do you think they’d storm out on Hedda and Louella–I don’t think so.

In any case I do wish them all the luck in the world, Lord knows she’ll need it.

Aniston Says “No” to Pitt, “Yes” to Abbas

Screen queen to conquor Mideast market AND new PA President

by Donny Goldman,

In a double-shocker for the world of entertainment–with icing on top for the world of Mideast relations, superstar Jennifer Aniston announced her divorce of Brad Pitt, and her courtship of Mahmoud Abbas in one blockbuster press release.

Reportedly, Jennifer doesn’t want to have children and would rather put her career ahead of motherhood. Brad felt otherwise.

In the exploding Palestinian Film industry, Jennifer will likely be a huge bombshell, and since it’s likely that Abbas will be assassinated as soon as he shows any sort of backbone against terrorist groups like Hamas, or Al-Aksa, Jenn is overjoyed that children are most unlikely!

In the meantime, she gets an all-expenses paid vacation to a prime vacation spot (The Gaza Strip Paris Hilton), can get a tan, and will fit in nicely with the locals—plus—she doesn’t need to see Brad around town.

“The man is a new leader of a changing society. He’s got to be a real man to be able to get where he is. Brad was just an actor. Not so sexy. Besides, Mahmoud isn’t likley going to be around very long. How sexy is that? Have you ever f**ked a dead man? I haven’t. With all the craxy s*it in Hollywood you’d think I’d done everythong. Nope! But I’m looking forward to it!”

Once Abbas “retires,” Jenn is planning to come back to the states and begin a autobiographical book and film of her experiences as a white, blonde shickza in the bustling Palestinian cities, surrounded by war, passions, and an inspiring crossroads of history.

Stay tuned for more!

And now to answer the question “why Vince left Jen”

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn Share their Secrets!

An exclusive interview with the New York cabby who drove them around!

New York City. The Big Apple, teeming with life. And lots and lots of taxi cabs. Someone has to drive those cabs. We call those people cabbies. And when a veteran cabby like Joe Mischotti picks up a fare, that fare might be someone pretty darned famous. Because we’re in New York, where your chances of running into a famous person are statistically higher than if you were in, say, Indianapolis. This is not to knock Indianapolis. It’s just a cold, hard fact.

And it’s my job to take lots of cab rides in New York City until I run across a hot story. One which comes along only once or twice a week, if you take lots of cab rides. Because I’m a reporter for Happy Woman, and that’s my job, dammit.

It’s an overcast Tuesday morning, and I’m sitting in the back of a cab in midtown Manhattan. I look at the name above the mug shot on the cabby id card: Joe Mischotti.

So I say, “Hey, Joe, how’s it going?”

And Joe says, “Can’t complain. Where to, lady?”

And I say, “Just take me around Manhattan Joe, while I pick your brain.”

And Joe says, “Whattaya mean, pick my brain, lady?”

And I say, “Joe, I’m just a reporter, looking for a scoop. Got any good dirt on some famous fares you’ve had lately?”

And Joe says, “Well, come to think of it, maybe I do.”

And I say, “So, lay it on me, Joe.”

And Joe says, “How ’bout Jennifer and Vince. That good enough for you, lady reporter?”

And I say, “IS it, Joe! Lay it on me, and I mean yesterday!”

Right then and there, Joe the cabby tells me how last Thursday night, or was it Wednesday-anyhow, one night last week around 10:00 he pulls over on 5th and East 96th, the Upper East Side-Poshville- and a man and a woman slide into the back seat.

Joe doesn’t notice anything special at first-he’s not looking at his fares too closely when the man asks Joe to head for the Village. Greenwich Village. Joe says, “Sure thing.”

“Then,” Joe tells me, “the couple starts talkin’ to each other and I look in my rearview. Damn if it ain’t that Friends lady, Jennifer Aniston, and that tall comedian guy, Vince Vaughn. They look just like they do on T.V. She’s got that long, shiny hair, and he’s tall even sitting down, and he looks kinda like he could get into a fight if you push him.”

I say, “Did you push him, Joe?”

And Joe says, “Naw, I got no gripe with the tall guy. As long as he pays his fare and tips good, with his money and all.”

“Tell me everything, Joe.”

“Sure,” says Joe. “So the two of them start talkin’ about goin’ maybe to a movie. And I hear Jennifer say somethin’ about wanting to see the Leonard Cohen movie. You know, that movie about the folk singer?”

“Yeah,” I say, “the folk singer, Leonard Cohen. No slouch.”

“Nope,” says Joe. “No slouch at all. So I hear Vince say to Jennifer, ‘Are you sure you wanna go to that one? You’re not big on folk music,’ or somethin’ like that, he says. And Jennifer says, ‘I like it fine. I want to see Leonard Cohen. It’s supposed to be good.’”

“So Vince says to me, directly, ‘Could you find us the Film Forum?’ AndI says, ‘Sure, buddy, the FilmForum on Houston. No problem.’”

I say to Joe, “So, you took them to the Film Forum, Joe? To see the Leonard Cohen flick?”

Joe says, “Well, that’s what I thought I was doin’, but then Jennifer says to Vince, ‘Maybe we should eat something first,’ and Vince says, ‘We just ate, what’re you wanting to eat again for’? and Jennifer says, ‘Because I’m still hungry.’ And Vince Vaughn, he just gives her that look, cause I’m watchin’ in the rear view, and he says, ‘Aw, you’re always hungry’ or something like that.”

“Wow,” I say, “she’s really got an appetite on her, huh Joe?”

And Joe says, “Yeah, I guess. But then they start talkin’ about the movie again, and she says, ‘Maybe they have popcorn at the Forum.’ And Vince says, ‘Yeah, probably. You just want popcorn?’ And she says, ‘Yeah.’”

“What else, Joe. There’s got to be something else you can give me,” I say. “My readers expect no less.”

Joe says, “Yeah, well, there’s not much else before I dropped ‘em off at the Forum. Except Jennifer thought she might be cold or somethin’ during the movie.”

“Joe, are you saying the woman didn’t have a sweater on her?” I say.

“Well, I dunno, maybe, yeah, I don’t remember a sweater,” says Joe.

“So maybe they weren’t planning on going to the movies?” I say.

“Hell, I dunno. All I know is, I dropped ‘em off at the Forum and they went right up to the ticket booth, cause I think the movie already started.”

I say, “Joe, maybe they were trying to get away from something. Or somebody. A girl never goes to the movies unless she’s got a sweater. It can get pretty cold in those movie houses, you know.”

“Okay,” says Joe.

“Was anybody following you, Joe?”

“Following me? No, I mean, I don’t think so.”

“So you’re not sure, Joe?”

“Uh, no, I guess not. Say, lady, can I drop you off somewhere?”

I say, “Yeah, Joe, I think I’ve got what I need. Drop me off right here.”

Joe’s almost driving away from the curb when I suddenly remember something big. Really big.

“Hey, Joe!” I shout. “How’d he tip?”

“How’d he tip? Oh, Vince Vaughn? Not bad. A twenty spot over the fare.”

Yep. A cold, hungry starlet and her big lug who tips okay, but not great, running to a Village movie house for cover. It doesn’t get much juicier than that.

But don’t thank me. It’s my job, dammit.

© 2006 Kate Heidel

Can she be more BORING?!!!