Mr & Mrs Smith Hits Small Screen

Guli, if you are around, could you perhaps re paste that comment you found on brangelinafans.com regarding feel good charity and those who do it? It mentioned the type of charity men do and the type women pursue. It used Melinda Gates and Angelina as exceptions to the rule.

good night all

Never mind, I found it.
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guli Says:

December 30th, 2006 at 11:43 am

Nice post by, http://brangelinafans.blogspot.com/

Thanks for the Xmas well wishes, I had a nice holiday break, and I hope you did too! While all of us were with our families or just chilling out at home watching DVDs, Brad and Angelina were up to their charitable ways again in Costa Rica with some refugees at a shelter. Don’t these folks take a break, even for Christmas? Nope.

As I was reading my ***** magazine, issue #34 ‘Green’, I read an article titled, “Egos Without Borders - Mapping the new celebrity Philanthropy” (page 23 if you want to read it at the book store). And of course I knew they would mention Angelina as an example and they used her in a very positive light too.

Some of us here at BF know the difference between the sincere efforts that Angelina and Brad give into their causes and they have not only donated money and neat material gifts, but they got down and dirty in a few countries and really have walked the walk! The causes they speak on behalf of are not fads for them, they are committed to them for a very long time. However, in this article in ***** magazine, the phrase “feel-good philanthropy” was introduced to me. According to the author, Summer Wood, there is a difference between the do gooders who donate in the short term for a cause and obtain a personal self-satisfaction from it, and there are those who are militant about it and do it as if their life depended on helping those who are less fortunate. Here’s a snipet from the article:

“But in recent years, as more and more public figures enter the philantrhropic fray, it appears that male and female celebrities are going about their good deed in strikingly different and gender-stereotypical ways. Generally speaking, men like Bill Gates, George Clooney, and Bono are using their wealth and influence to advocate for specific policy reforms and U.S. political action on issues such as health, foreign aid, and trade. Meanwhile, female celebrities like Oprah, Drew Barrymore, Meg Ryan, and Lucy Liu (to name just a few recent examples) promote a feel-good, totally apolitical mode of philanthropy, in which women are encouraged to consider the plight of people in the developing world as a way (in part) to feel better about their own lives, and to pursue only small, relatively ineffectual solutions to the world’s problems.

While women like Melinda Gates and Angelina Jolie are notable exceptions to this trend (both speak out regularly, and knowledgeably, on policy issues affecting the health of women in developing nations and have donated large sums of their own money to charitable causes), the brand of philanthropy promoted by many female celebs sends a troubling message to their fans about what the average person can do to help. With feel-good philanthrophy, there’s no need to call your elected representatives, attend a rally, or even spend a few minutes each day reading the international news in order to better understand the issues at hand. Give, but give just a little, and then sit back and reap the emotional rewards.”
Reading this article really laid out the comparison between what celebrity X does and what celebrity W does. The way Angelina goes about her philanthropic interests is more admirable to me than someone going into a hospital ward in South Africa and giving the ill women there some makeup kits, or buying a piece of jewelry designed to act as a fundraiser tool against world hunger and sold for $24.99, but only $5 going to the actual cause. So when cynics say that Angelina is doing all her hard work for PR, I want to tell them to piss off because what she does is not easy. It’s emotionally draining, physically challenging, and it costs money: the more you have, the more you can afford to give w/o straining your own bank account. But in the long run, her kind of help is actually helping people and giving them what they really need: the care and the true attention that their plight needs.
Labels: costa rica, philanthropy

posted by Gossipfan @ 12:53 PM

maja Says:
January 1st, 2007 at 9:34 pm

what’s YG, how do I get there?

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AddictedtoBAMZs Says:
January 1st, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Passing Through…how can those of us not involved with the YG thing read it?

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Maja - The YG is a private Yahoo Group we started when Jared was having server problems a few months ago.

Addicted and anyone else who doesn’t belong to the YG - if you want to read it send me an e-mail at RealityChick691@yahoo.com and I’ll send it to you as a text file.

Curious Says: January 1st, 2007 at 10:08 pm - is there a LAW that says Black women have to LIKE Okra????? Good for you that u like her…..

Got it can’t wait to read it, many thanks ;-)

Since the vogue interview from Angelina came out, Some people have argued that Angelina lured Brad by talking to him about her values, her beliefs etc. Too intimate.

I’ve been meaning to post my views for a while and here it is. On the one hand, I believe it would be inappropriate for a spouse to talk about his/her relationship to an unmarried person of the opposite sex (usually along the lines of –“She/he doesn’t understand me”). But Angelina was careful to point out in her interview that she didn’t know the workings of brad and Jennifer’s marriage. She and Brad talked about what we both wanted in life and realized that they wanted very, very similar things.

Was Angelina’s and Brad discussions really too intimate?? I think not. We reveal a lot of our true values and belief systems, what we want from life, when we speak about things that matter to us. Many of these topics are perfectly acceptable conversations to have with a colleague at work. Conversations about how we view work, what we think about a particular boss, our interests or passions and our children. For example, lets say a co-worker tells me how she spent her week end with her children, what she had enjoyed doing with them etc. Did she stick them in front of the TV? Did she take them out to the zoo and have a fantastic time with them feeding the elephants and riding on the horse carriage?? Another person tells me about her hobbies, her charities, why they interest her, why she believes in them, what she wants to do in the future - run her own business, what sort of business. These conversations can reveal a lot about you. Even discussions on this board reveals a lot more of our values, what we think and why we think than I would care to actually reveal at times. You can build a complex and accurate picture of a person when you have very non controversial, non intimate conversations so long as both parties are prepared to be honest and open and not too quick to judge.

And if you ever hear how a mother disciplines her children, explains things to her children, you get a lot of information about her values. This is particularly important. One of my good friends told me that she tells her children that she works part time because she loves her work, she enjoys the challenge of work. She told me that she never tells her child that she works because she needs the money because (a) its not entirely true though they are not rich and the extra money helps; and (b) the truth is, she loves her work and sees nothing wrong in spending part of her life away from her children doing something she absolutely works and (c) she wants her children to love their work too. This tells me a lot about my friend and her values. Yet, no part of this conversation is inappropriate between friends, whether it be male or female.

That’s what I believe happened with Angelina and Brad. They talked about her charities, her work, what she thought about the politics in America, the influence of conservative Christians on the political agenda, the direction of the bush administration – all perfectly acceptable topics of discussion with a co worker with whom one is on friendly terms. Most particularly, Brad also saw Angelina interacting with Maddox, saw how she disciplined him, heard how she explained things to him. People have said that Maddox was the reason why Brad went for Angelina. In a way, they are right. Not that Brad wanted Maddox and the only way he could get to Maddox was through Angelina. But rather, in watching Angelina with Maddox, he saw the real Angelina and fell for her.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The bulk of M&MS was filmed by April 04 so I’m guessing that it might be then when Brad and Angelina realised that may be, they had stronger feelings for each other then they would care to admit, even to themselves. My guess is, when that realisation hit him, Brad told Jen about it – pretty much as soon as he was able to face up to his feelings. That’s why Jen said that she knew her marriage was over around mid June 04, when she was filming RHI. However, according to Courtney, Brad did try to fight his feelings for a while, and that probably why they tried to patch things up by going on their European vacation whilst promoting Troy. However, what ever was wrong with that marriage could not be fixed – at least not from Brad’s perspective.

Was Brad therefore a man who was not committed to his marraige?? From Courtney’s own words, we know Brad didn’t just walk out on Jennifer. Even though he was deeply attracted to another woman he stayed and tried to work it out with Jennifer.

The essential question for some people is, which question did Brad asked himself as he stayed to work out his marriage - was it: “Would I be happier out of this marriage then in it?” or was it: “Would I be happier out of this marriage with Jennifer and in a relationship with Angelina”.

I’m inclined to believe that Brad asked himself the first question ie. Would I be happier out of this marriage then it it? Reason?? Because

(a) both Jennifer (VF Interview) and Brad said there was no 3rd party involved in the decision to break up (never let it be said I think Brad is a liar).

(b) I’m very sure that the marriage was very rocky by 2003 when he went to film Troy in Malta - apart for months and she has to force herself to fly out to meet him?? Come on…. Not from my experience.

(c) Brad didn’t just walk out on Jennifer when he realised that he was attracted to Angelina, he tried to work it out with Jennifer for a period of time.

(d) when Brad left Jennifer, there was no guarantee that anything would work out with Angelina. I don’t believe either Brad or Angelina, with 3 marriages which went on the rocks between them, living in Hollywood, were particularly starry eyed and idealistic about what could go wrong in any relationship in Hollywood.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

So then, here is the other question, should Brad have stayed with Jennifer because Brad married her as she was probably happy to stay Mrs Brad Pitt. Hence all the talk about marriage vows etc.

To me, to stay in an unsatisfactory marriage, a marriage where both parties can spend months apart without yearning for the other, when there are no children involved, where they are both financially independant, is TOTALLY MASOCHISTIC. I wouldn’t do it and I certainly don’t expect other people to. And for those whiners who think he should have stayed in an unsatisfactory marriage where no children were involved because he made a marriage vow, well, I can only say, more then 50% of married couples don’t – many with children. Why should Brad be held on a higher standard? Did their marriage vow even include the “till death do us apart”?? I’m not sure. I do know from interviews that they both gave that they described their marriage as a grand experiment, a merger, that when you come from a home with a broken marriage, its hard to believe in happily ever after.

According to NEWSWEEK the 1/8/2007 issue OPRAH’ s girls school will have a grand opening, in attendance will be Julia Roberts, John Travolta,Stevie Wonder Nelson Mandella and Angelina Jolie.

Curious Says:

January 1st, 2007 at 10:08 pm

Why do so many black women hate Oprah? Why do we question everything she does?We don’t question Angies motives like we question Opra. I love Oprah and Angie for the great works they slave at. I think that the hate towards O is a case of FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT.
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I’m not black so my comment might be considred invalid but I’ll say it anyway. I don’t hate Oprah but I do have concerns about the way she approaches her charity work. It’s okay to voice criticism as long as it is considered constructive. What Dragonfly and Lylian said, I consider that constructive criticism and they are voicing their opinion, which is what this blog is about.

I find that Oprah is a bit self centered and believes in her own hype. For proof, look at how she handled the James Frey and Hermes incident. After Oprah’s fans lambasted her on her message boards for supporting James , only then did she go after James Frey. I didn’t think it was necessary for her to go after him on her show the way she did, but she did because she was more worried about what the public thought, rather than going with her convictions. She instantly claimed racism over the Hermes incident because they didn’t her allow into the store after it was closed. The CEO had to come on her show and apologize, all because she is Oprah.
She financed the building of this $40 million school because SHE wanted a school built that was according to HER childhood dreams. She put her own desires before the needs of the kids. It’s her money and she can do what she wants with it, but it grates me that she passes that off as charity she did for the KIDS. The whole point of helping others is to put your worries and desires aside and help OTHERS in need and support them in a way that is in THEIR best interest. It’s not about putting your own fantasies first before doing what could help the people in the greatest way possible with the resources you have. It’s about helping the maximum amount of people with the help you can provide and not being selective with who is eligible to recieve help.

Whenever you set out to help people, I believe it’s necessary to do research about what you are doing. Oprah places her emotions first and foremost before facts and logic. Emotions have their place and if a person’s heart isn’t in the work they are doing, then it’s not worth it. But research and knowledge about issues are also important. For a woman with Oprah’s stature and taking into consideration about the large number of people that follow her lead and rely on her to look for ways they can help, you would think she would be more responsible with the way she chooses to pursue her chariatable contributions. She is Oprah because so many people look up to her. She has been given her wealth and stature by the public that tunes into listen to her for advice, so I certainely would hope she would take the burden placed on her shoulders by her fans more seriously.

me Says: January 1st, 2007 at 10:41 pm - Great Post and ITA…
especially this part

“She financed the building of this $40 million school because SHE wanted a school built that was according to HER childhood dreams. She put her own desires before the needs of the kids. It’s her money and she can do what she wants with it, but it grates me that she passes that off as charity she did for the KIDS.”

annie Says:
January 1st, 2007 at 10:39 pm
According to NEWSWEEK the 1/8/2007 issue OPRAH’ s girls school will have a grand opening, in attendance will be Julia Roberts, John Travolta,Stevie Wonder Nelson Mandella and Angelina Jolie.
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Jan 8th is Zahara’s birthday, brad is accepting an award in Palm Springs Jan 7th, and is due back on the BB set soon. Seeing how this family goes everywhere together I very much doubt angie will be in South Africa. But hey I could be wrong.

Maybe Angie will bring Zahara with her. It would be appropriate since Z was born in Africa. It is true they are seldom apart, but not unthinkable.