Aniston’s Cabo New Year

Um Mia ,jan 7th will be 2 years!Let it go and move on.

UNDERSTANDING LOW SELF ESTEEM by Carla Valencia

There are some symptoms that can help us to know if we really have low self-esteem . I would like to share my experiences with them:

Blaming others:

This is usually known as complaining. I used to complain a lot in the past, and of course it was always everybody else fault. I have found that this kind of behavior is a symptom of low self-esteem because in blaming others I did not assumed responsibility. By not assuming responsibility I was always a victim of my circumstances. This is a sign of low self-esteem.

How did I change this? I took the decision to not complain any more. Every time I found myself complaining about something, I stop, and I said to myself: is time to take responsibility.

Denial:

This was my favorite one; I think I have leaved many years on denial. I used to minimize things, forgetting events. I did not want to feel the pain, so despite the evidence, my tendency was to insist that it was not true.

How did I change this? I took the decision to start taking the risk of feeling my feelings. I realized that it is better to feel the pain once than keep feeling the pain all the time without knowing what was going on inside of me. This is like having a toothache and avoid going to the dentist to not feel the pain. So we take a lot of medication hoping that the pain will go away, until we cannot bury the pain anymore and we make the appointment.

Unable to express our feelings:

Being unable to express our feelings is being unable to feel. This was my favorite one too. Because I was unable to know what I was feeling, if for example I was angry, I did not know how to express it. Whenever somebody asked me: are you angry? I smiled and I said: no, I am not angry. The truth was that I was confused about my feelings, and I was afraid to express them. I did not understand that anger could be a healthy feeling, because I always thought it was bad to feel this feeling, so I repressed it. This is a sign of low self-esteem.

How did I overcome this? I decided to be brave and start to express my feelings no matter what the consequences were. For example, my husband is always late, and I am really punctual. So, every time we go out, I am ready. He is always doing things at the last minute and this makes me really angry. I used to smile and do not say anything because I did not wanted to ruin the day. Instead of doing this one day I told him : I really feel uncomfortable when we have to go out and you are never ready and we are late. Just being able to express myself in this way had helped me a lot in not repressing my anger anymore and makes me feel really good about myself.

Depending on others for self-acceptance

I used to depend on others to accept myself, it was like: it you like me, I am ok. If you accept me, I will accept myself. I used to be this way, always waiting for a signal of approval so that I could feel good about myself.This is a sign of low self-esteem .

How did I change this? Well, I become aware that people have different point of view, that sometimes they project in us their frustrations, and that if somebody really loves he/she will take me the way I am. I felt a lot of relief, just being conscious that we cannot please everyone and giving myself permission to be me. It had helped me a lot to accept myself in inspide of other people’s opinions. This is like when you get your hair done, and then meet people and you are waiting for somebody to praise your hair. If you meet a friend, let’s say, and she says, what have you done with your hair! I liked it the way it was before!!, you start to feel uncomfortable, and doubt about your new style. If you accept yourself and you are not waiting for other people’s acceptance, you will be able to feel conformable no matter what other people say.

No having boundaries:

I did not know how to draw a line between my problems and other’s problems. I let people to be invasive. This behavior is linked with no knowing how to say no. I used to be so mixed up, that when I meet somebody with a problem, I internalized as mine.

How did I change this?, well this experience occurred to me again, and because I was determined to set boundaries with other people, I was able to handle this in a different way. I just told the co-worker that I did not feel comfortable answering personal questions, and I did not answered them. The good thing was that my co-worker understood this and had an excellent relationship. Setting boundaries is really important, we can still help other people, be nice to them but there is a place inside of us that we have to respect and do not have fear of rejection.

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with” . Dr. Wayne W. Dyer.

http://www.selfesteemawareness.com/low-selfesteem.htm

The Top 10 Signs of Low Self-Esteem
by Ronya Banks

1. Walking with your head down.

If you’ve ever seen someone walking with his head pointed downwards, with his chin scraping the front of his body, then you have witnessed low self-esteem. If you do this, pick your chin up off of your chest and walk with your head held high!

2. You don’t make and/or sustain direct eye contact with others.

Someone who shifts his eyes about and/or is unable to make direct eye contact is communicating low self-esteem, as well as communicating an intention to avoid connecting with others.

3. You do not accept compliments well.

“Oh no, not me”. Responding to a compliment with a statement of denial is another sign of low self-esteem. When you feel really good about yourself, you accept praise with appreciation and grace.

4. You apologize and feel guilty.

If you say the words “I’m sorry” often, then you are apologizing for living. Apologizing a lot usually goes hand in hand with feeling guilty. Guilt is a major low self-esteem growth hormone. The guiltier you feel, the worse you feel about yourself, and the worse you feel about yourself, the guiltier you feel. Stop apologizing and give up feeling guilty today!

5. You get frustrated, impatient, or angry often.

When you do not feel good about yourself, you tend to have very little patience with others. This lack of patience and understanding for others creates a breeding ground for many possible negative responses including frustration, anger, incredulousness, and being harshly judgmental.

6. You use negative, hopeless language.

Low self-esteem seeps in to one’s daily language. Examples of negative, hopeless, low self-esteem language include phrases like: “It figures”, or “If something bad is going to happen, it will happen to me”, or “I’m only human”, or “I can’t…”, or “I never could…”, or “I should have…”, or “Life sucks and then you die”, etc., etc.,….

7. You are depressed.

Chronic, pervasive, and extended bouts of low self-esteem are often precursors to depression. If you are battling with depression you are probably having trouble seeing the positive in any situation. If you are experiencing prolonged periods of extreme sadness, hopelessness, and/or sabotaging thoughts, consult a professional.

8. You take things personally.

The lower your self-esteem, the more you will feel unsure of yourself. The more unsure you feel about yourself, the more apt you will be to take what other people say personally. Raise your self-esteem and other people’s opinions and comments will roll off of you like water off of a duck’s back.

9. You do not engage with others.

Your lack of belief in yourself may motivate you to choose to hide away from reality or cloister yourself away from other living, breathing humans. Take a very deep breath and join the land of the living. You have a lot to give - to yourself and to others.

10. You do not take risks.

Some people respond to low self-esteem by avoiding taking risks in their personal and professional lives. If you feel unsure about yourself, you may fear failure and worry about looking bad, to the point that you play it safe. Give up fearing failure and looking bad. You are going to die anyhow. You might as well give life its fair shake and go for your soul’s desires! Remember self-esteem problems show up differently in different people. You may feel great about yourself in one area of your life, but have extremely low self-esteem in another area of your life. There is always room for improvement. Isn’t it time you became committed to truly loving and appreciating yourself?

this is now the triangle……..LET THE PARTY BEGIN!HOHOHOHO

Hey malibumom~ Stardust.
Yep, it’s me. It was slow at work today, so I snuck into Jared, and couldn’t resist stating my observation. Yep, married life and a new home has kept me very very busy, so I couldn’t keep up with all the reading here much least post. But this one was a quicky note. Anywhooo, I’ll just meet up with you guys at the JP thread sometime. Right now, I really need to get to bed, back to work tomorrow. The holidays are over and back to the grindstone. Hope 2007 is great. Hey, I’ll copy and paste this to the latest JP thread, in case you are outta this one too. :D

ntt: it was word games : they “didn’t break up” of course they didn’t ! if she asked her “are you guys together” Jen would be forced to say “no”. It was a sematic game.

I think Jen sucks. I am a model and i hate actresses who do not look after them. Models model clothing for actresses to wear! Come on people! She never looks good. Get a stylist, preferrably from cosmo?

Also she could have used some of our sex secrets to keep Brad in the Bed with her instead of running to THE sex goddess Angelina! God, i love Angie!

BAMZS RULES!!!

See Ya non-models…

Well it seems to me that CC may have a hit with DIRT!!
I enjoyed it and will tune in next week..it has gossip, sex, drugs, love,
betrayal, ambition,excitement, greed, etc, etc, and most of all a cut
throat dirty BIT*H all the good stuff. I smell HIT- TV

geez, i keep telling you people……..listen up once again…
jen smokes weed. she chills out with her buddies and probably doesn’t really give a **** about brad or angie or their freakin family. why is it that everyone in the world thinks she is not over brad? he is just a regular guy not some viking god for crying out loud. furthermore, people who live in glass houses should not throw rocks (i.e. accusations) at others. you cannot call jen a liar (as in the oprah thing) unless you are prepared to acknowledge the fact that angelina also lied. remember? she lied about being involved with brad. about being pregnant. and about when their relationship started.
so anyway, i say let brad and angie live their dream life together. let jen smoke her pot and hang with her friends and find a dude eventually. and everyone else just chillax. why hate? on anyone.

Chinocchio?
Where is your sombrero?

She ’s drunk
too much tequila
she’s wearing a mexican dress
with flip flop
and always the same hairdo
she’s fixed ten years ago ; she can’t move on ;

The girl is just getting drunk and bring in the new year and got horny and went and got her a quickie from vince that is all she ever did with him anyway I say more power to her

pannell64…….that would be too phenomenal if clooney and aniston hooked up. i would love it. haters begin in earnest,lmao……..lets keep our fingers crossed. he has never been lucky in love so maybe this is it.