Brad Pitt is “Just Awesome”

296
QQQQ Says:

March 1st, 2007 at 11:26 pm - flag comment
Another pic -

http://www.eonline.com/photogallery/index.jsp?category=editors&uuid=cffd35e9-0234-4610-86c0-e2b2bb7f4270

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Sooooooo Cute !!!!!!!!! It seems both father and daughter are eyeing that cookie.

thank u all for the links.hi jared!

101
dina#1 Says:

March 2nd, 2007 at 12:45 am - flag comment
People, we shouldn’t start assuming that grandma Pitt bought that dress. There are several pictures with Z in dresses, blue denim with her pink sandals. And I think I remember a couple of more. Maybe Angie is back and dressed her, therefore knowing what she is wearing. I don’t believe Angie is opposed to dresses, as she wears them herself. I don’t think grandma pitt would do anything to cause friction between herself and her son’s baby’s mama. Don’t try to read too much into a picture. Just enjoy and savor. Remember we are really seeing Shiloh out and about for the very first time. Before we only saw pictures, People cover, or being carried in a baby carrier. So we don’t know what she was wearing. Now that she is out of her blob stage she is out and about with everyone. Angie should be back by now. She left Sunday and was only going to be gone for 2 days. She should be home by now. peace.

Let us all take a moment today and bow to the Anti-Tabloids Gods for doing their best to keep Brad and Angie out of the tabs this week. All Hail Ye Anti-Tabloid Gods!!! OOOOOHHHHHMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Holy smokes…it worked! Only 3 of these pieces of sh#t rags could come up with a “story” this week…and two of them are re-treads of previous stories. The Anti-Tabloid Gods were able to thwart the National Enquirer, OK!, and US this week and for that we owe them a big shout out…HEEEEEEEYYYYYYAAAAAAYYYY!!! Several of them have the photo of Brad and Angie walking down the street with Shiloh & Z, but no stories. The People mag also had the picture, but for our purposes the People doesn’t rank as a tabloid because they won’t cross Brad and Angie and dry up their cash cow for exclusives. Besides, People spends almost the entire edition on the Oscars and Oscar fashion. Some of the stuff worn to the after-parties was tres shiteous, but that’s another story.

The only tab that bothered to come up with something semi-original is OuttaTouch. L&S and Star? Pathetic and repetitive. I do a report on their stories without reading them. Same sh#t, different week.

- OuttaTouch: This week’s story - “Angelina’s Last Gift From Her Mom”. That’s right…yet another deathbed exclusive. Or maybe Marcheline gave this gift AFTER she died? You decide…

* In an attempt to reach the depths of our little black hearts OuttaTouch starts out by telling us that Angie takes great comfort n the personal items that her mother “left behind”. (Sidebar: I guess nobody ever told OuttaTouch that you can’t take it with you?)

* Angie is still in mourning, but she’s finding joy in life again. (Sidebar: I hope to God that’s toe-curling joy!)

* When Angie is holding Shiloh in the blanket her mother made for her just before she died she’s now able to smile instead of crying. (Sidebar: With as much energy as Marcheline had before she died I guess we should all wish for cancer?)

* According to a friend, “Around October, when she started getting worse, Marcheline began making the blanket for Shiloh.” (Sidebar: They are, of course, referreing to the hand crocheted blanket that Shiloh was covered with in the stroller when B/A/Z/S were out walking. They even have the photo, which presumbably was the excuse for this lame-ass story. Also bear in mind that all information points to Marcheline having a SUDDEN decline, not a gradual one starting in October.)

* An expert says, “It (the blanket) provides a connection with the person who died.” (Sidebar: Uh, excuse me, but did I not try out for the position of “expert” to the tabloids last week? For the record, none of them contacted me…and this trite quote what they get as a result of NOT contacting me.)

* OuttaTouch points out that the blankie is monogrammed “SP”. (Sidebar: Those of you who know me know those are MY INITIALS, too, so how can OuttaTouch be positive that that’s Shiloh’s blankie and the little bugger didn’t steal mine?)

* According to OuttaTouch Angelina also carries, presumbably on her person, a letter from Marcheline. An insider says, “Her mom wrote letters to Angie, James, Brad and the kids and asked them not to open them until she passed.” and that Angie finds the letter “very comforting”. (Sidebar: I’m tellin’ ya…cancer is the disease to get if you wanna get sh#t done before ya croak! Look at this woman, she’s on her deathbed crotcheting up a storm, whipped up a blankie in no time, grabbed a pen and scribbled 5 or 6 letters…gimme a ticket for an aeroplane…ain’t got time to take a fast train…and those were just the letters she left her immediate family! I can’t wait to hear all about the letter she left Jon Voight!…and y’all know we will…sooner or later…)

* Continuing in the vein of what Angie is finding comforting at this time, OuttaTouch goes on to mention Angie’s trip to Chad on Feb 25 and say that giving to others is also helping Angie cope. (Sidebar: I guess if she hadn’t have gone to Chad then going to the Oscars is also a good coping mechanism, huh?)

* Back to the blankie, another insider says that, “Handmade things were very special to Marcheline.” (Sidebar: Y’all still awake out there…cuz this was scintillating stuff, wasn’t it?)

* Because everyone else also has the photo of Brad/Angie/Z/Shiloh, OuttaTouch paid their $250 fee and used it as well, and say that onlooker said, “They all looked very happy, especially Brad as he was holding Shiloh in his arms.” (Sidebar: Thank you, oh mighty Anti-Tabloid Gods for keeping this story to one page. Ooooohhhhhhhmmmmmmmm.)

- Lifeless & Styleless: These losers get funnier every week. They actually have this story under a section labeled “SCOOPS”. The only “scoop” here is a big hefty scoop of horse manure…and previously used horse manure at that. Their big scoop? “Brad and Angie bond - and blend - in the Big Easy.”

* Last week US was the only rag to have the BAZS stroller photo where Z’s chowing down on the potato chips, but this week everyone else has it, so I guess US’s “exclusive” was a one-weeker.

* L&S says now that Mardi Gra is over and NO has “settled down” so have the bickering J-Ps. (Sidebar: Yes, they are STILL gnawing on THAT bone.)

* After the Feb 11 Big Smoking Blowout Fight B/A vowed to work on their relationship. (Sidebar: If for no other reason than for L&S to have yet another story on them.)

* The first thing they’re doing to work on their relationship is to try to live a “normal life”. (Sidebar: THIS is their “scoop”? Where the fcuk has L&S been? They’ve been doing just that for a few months now!)

* B/A felt they couldn’t have a normal life in LA, hence the relocation to NO. A “pal of Brad’s” says, “Brad and Angie are putting down roots in NO. She’s really been enjoying getting to know other moms and setting up play dates for their kids. And Brad’s been making friends at the gym.” (Sidebar: BBBBWWWWWHAHAHHAHAHA!!! Sorry…couldn’t help it. I’m still laughing at the “scoop” aspect of this. They had this exact same story when B/A first got to NO in late-Nov/early-Dec. And Brad going to the gym? Uh…the very first photos of items being moved into their new NO house was Brad’s exercise equipment! And these dumb fcukers published those photos, too!)

* The other thing that B/A are doing in an attempt to be normal is “eating out”. (Sidebar: Brad’s particularly fond of this activity…and Angie ain’t complainin’ either.)

* Oops…sorry…my bad…turns out L&S meant they were “eating out” at local restaurants like Angeli. Brad’s overly talkative former “pal” says, “They can relax and eat in peace, which is really all they want from an evening out.” (Sidebar: Uh…how can they “eat in peace” when they’re being stalked by the tabs everywhere? And BTW, could these damned rags follow them to another restaurant? Cuz I’ve never even been to Angeli’s and I’m sick of hearing about them!)

* Lest you think that all is hunky-dory in BAMZSland, L&S says the bickering is not all behind them and they are disagreeing on whether or not to adopt from Vietnam. According to an insider, “Brad wants to wait, just to make sure everything is good between them first.” (Sidebar: Hehehehehe…poor L&S…the paperwork was already in motion even as they printed this ****-and-bull story.)

* L&S goes on to say that Brad & Angie skipped the Oscars so they could “spend quality time with each other”. (Sidebar: BBBBWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Angie was already in Africa when they printed this story! What a bunch of morons! We found out on Sunday night, Oscar NIGHT, that Angie had flown to Africa…surely the good folks at L&S read Jared’s and saw the news, too? And yet, 2 days later, they went to press with this item in their article. If anyone ever needed proof that L&S makes up their stories…thank you, oh mighty Anti-Tabloid Gods for providing said evidence.)

* Having already embarrassed themselves with this re-tread story L&S goes for the big finish with a final quote from an insider, “They both agree it’s the best place for them.” (Sidebar: Ho…freaking…hum. Note to L&S troll: Y’all had better come up with a new angle next week. I think you’ve ridden the Bickering J-P angle for as long as you can. It’s old, it’s lame, it’s repetitive, that dog don’t hunt and worse of all, it’s not even good material for me work with anymore! For that alone you should be ashamed!)

- Star: If you needed any further proof that BAMZSland is sealed up tighter than a drum and there are no accurate leaks, therefore no real story for the tabloids…look no further. This week the Star has basically re-printed a story they published barely 3 weeks ago. The worst part is that their story title is a mere blip in this article - “Angelina Flips Out Over Brad’s Secret Love Note to Jen”. This is yet another misdirection ploy, the same as their “Angelina Anorexic?” headline 2 weeks ago. After not having a story last week, I guess the Star decided the sales were so ****** they had to re-tread familiar ground with a bit of a different spin - Brad is insensitive.

* The Star starts out this story with X’s quote that Brad is missing a “sensitivity chip” and that she must’ve been right because Brad’s latest actions were certainly insensitve to the grieving Angie. What heinous act did Brad supposedly commit? According to Star he sent X a birthday card (Gasp!) and signed it “with love Brad” and then casually mentioned having done so to Angie. (Sidebar: Puh-leeze. If Brad had sent X a b-day card you know that ***** would’ve taken out an ad in the Variety AND the Hollywood Reporter to tell the world about it. AND she would’ve called up every tabloid under the sun and sent them a copy of it!)

* Star goes on to say that “an already sad” Angie “hit the roof”. According to their source, “Brad saw nothing wrong with his behavior. he said, ‘You should never burn bridges.’ and reminded her that he and X may have no future together, but they could still be friends. Angelina is unsteady (referring to Marcheline’s death) and none of this went down well.” (Sidebar: Pfffft! Exactly what bridge do they think Brad doesn’t want to burn with X? At this point he’d probably like to burn X! Should he ever decide to do so I will gladly spring for the Kingsford charcoal, lighter fluid and matches. Others wishing to donate may contact me through Jared.)

* Due to Brad’s incredible insensitivity Star says that Angie’s trip to Chad couldn’t have come at a better time for her. (Here’s where the story re-tread starts.) Furthermore Brad is not “completely oblivious” to Angie’s precarious emotional state and “apparent jealousy”. On Jan 22 Brad refused to kiss a “stunning redhead” for a scene in CCOBB. The actress’s name is Megan Brown (the chick in the photos Jared had the other day). Star’s on-set source said, “Brad looked at her and said, ‘Nah, I don’t think so.’” When Star asked Megan Brown about the incident she said, “No comment.” (Sidebar: Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. You repeated an entire story…quote for quote. My how the mighty have fallen. Oh snap! You were never mighty…my bad.)

* At this point Star goes on to repeat the great majority of the story for a 3 or 4 weeks ago and I refuse to type up the quotes again. Basically their onset source said that the crew felt Brad had refused to kiss the bit-part player because Angie would be jealous because the chick was beautiful. They also said Angie was jealous because Brad has fallen for his co-stars in the past, and use her, Putrid, and Juliette Lewis as examples. In a nutshell…Brad’s a horny dog who lets his **** do his thinking for him…which is why his **** got him away from X. This story is beyond ridiculous. He had maybe 2 or 3 scenes with this chick. He did not make an entire film with her and spend months and months bonding with her the way he did Angelina. I don’t think I can emphasize this enough - Brad is fcuking Angelina Jolie. Let me repeat…An-ge-lin-a Jo-fcuking-lie. Daily. Repeatedly. In ways I’ve never even heard of. Need I say more?

* Because the Star still had about 3 inches of column space to fill, and not content with having repeated most of the “Angie is jealous” story, they segue on to “Angie’s too skinny” because God knows they have written about that enough. They say that Brad is obsessed with Angie’s “dwindling frame” and that she’s “skin and bones.” (Sidebar: I swear to God, I am so going to kick Bonnie Fuller’s ass for making me report this sh#t again!)

* According to their source, “It can’t be sexy to Brad, and he’s getting tired of worrying about her thinness. It’s a turn off.” (Sidebar: Please, God, stop me from hurting Bonnie Fuller. She’s making it awfully hard for me to control myself. These moronic ******** insinuated in their “Angelina Anorexic?” story that Angie was so thin because Brad likes his women super-skinny and that X, Putrid and Juliette Lewis were all at their skinniest while with him. They were also at their YOUNGEST, when women tend to be skinny! HELLO! But here’s my point…does Brad like ‘em skin-and-bones or not? Ya can’t have it both ways Bonnie!)

* Stars PAID SOURCE goes on to say that although Angie is still in mourning, “Brad can’t wait for the vivacious, independent women he fell in love with to return.” Another PAID SOURCE says, “Brad’s supportive, but he doesn’t like to constantly reassure (Angelina). He doesn’t want to be stuck with an emotional train wreck! He likes an independent, self-confident woman.” (Sidebar: BBBBWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TOO FCUKING FUNNY! GMAFB! Bonnie, girl, you have lost your mind! The man was married to/with X for 7 1/2 years! He used to needy, clingy, insecure, dependent, fraidy cat women! Puh-leeze! One time X called the man back from location to help her find her lost dog! She couldn’t even go out and put up the flyers by her damned self! Why is all of these tabs keep trying to turn Angelina into X? Did they miss the Vogue interview entirely?)

* In a sidebar photo X the Star has the following hilarious quote for another PAID SOURCE, “Brad still feels an attachment to Jen. He always will. He and Jen had their differences, but she never did anythint to hurt him.” (Sidebar: Yes, people, Bonnie Fuller did indeed print that. Apparently Brad has forgiven X for her two-year blame-Brad-for-everything Pity Party Parade. Now all Bonne has to do is find someone brave enough to tell Brad that X never hurt him.)

* In another sidebar Star says that contrary to reports Brad & Angie are not adopting from the Tam Binh orphanage in Ho Chih Minh city. A rep for the orphanage says that Brad & Angie have not contacted them since they came to visit in November, although they wish they would. The rep also says that if they do decide to adopt from Vietnam there are over 160 orphanages in the country. (Sidebar: You’ve gotta love the chutzpah of Star. “Contrary to reports”. Uh…IT WAS THEIR REPORT!!! Yeah, other tabs printed it, too, but the Star printed said it themselves 3 weeks ago as an “exclusive”! ROTFLMAO! Bonnie, I’m gonna tell you the same thing I told those pathetic wankers at L&S…next week…you better have a new idea for your story or I’m going to buy extra charcoal for a pig roast…and you’re gonna be the pig.)

HEY 308 - WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE? I HAVE NOT HEARD ANY OF THIS, ESPICALLY THE PART ABOUT BRAD HAVING FEELINGS FOR ANISTON. ITS VERY CLEAR HE DOESNT. ANGIE IS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE, AND SHE LOVES BRAD DEEPLY. SO, ALL YOU JUST DID WAS TRY AND WRITE A BOOK……NOT SO GOOD AT IT EITHER.
BAMZS4LIFE