New Ocean’s 13 Stills

617
Sin City Says:

March 28th, 2007 at 9:22 am - flag comment
I just read the angelina will do Sin City 2, filming begins in July.
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My fantasy response: When told of Janice Min’s cover about her broken promise to be “a stay at home Mom,” Angelina responds by adding one more movie to her roster - ROFLMAO, LOVES IT!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Angie!!

Oh by the way - over the course of Mel Gibson’s career doing back to back to back to back MOVIES - while simultaneously raising his 12 CHILDREN did anyone ONCE question whether he should be AT HOME WITH THEM providing “predictability and rhythm?” LMAO Or is it okay because, well he’s a man - he doesn’t need to be with his children and in the home on a regular basis — he can be away for weeks and months at a time on location??

Shyeah….only other women, want some women to be as WITHOUT choices as they perceive themselves to be.

I can hear the ******* railing now….why does Angelina get to have babies, Brad Pitt, AND an A-LIST MOVIE CAREER. It’s NOOOO FAAAAIIIR!! WAAAAAAH!! The head screamer is of course - MANISTON.

Muahahahah!! Too bad b*tch, ya blew it — and to the rest of the beyatches — DREAM ON…live vicariously through Angie why don’t cha’?!!

1)Even though the movie “wanted” is going to start filming in April, we dont know whether it’s the beginning of April or end of April. If you do a search on this movie, you will notice that Angie is NOT the main character in this movie. She is playing a SUPPORTING role. She might not be due on the set until later, or even the beginning of summer. Until there are pictures of her on the set, that is until there are MORE FACTS, we should refrain froming an opinion.

(2) US mag talked about Angie is also booked for “Changling” and ” Atlas Shrugged”. Again, if you do a search on “Atlas Shrugged”, this movie is no where close to start filming. In fact, it might not even start until 2 or 3 years from now. Having a movie in the pipeline does NOT mean she is doing all these movies all at once. To suck up everything this mag tell you and start writing opinions against her is NAIVE.

(3)Being a good mother does NOT mean 24/7. Stability does NOT mean staying put in one city. Stability means in the same roof, having the same parent, moulding by the same parents, getting instructions, directions, training by the same parent. Many actors/actress bring the kids on location. Think, Wil
Smith.

(4) There is NO actual picture of Angie on the test screen in Chicago. Why????? Could this be make up? Is this from a source, insider, a close friend which means nameless, which means NON-EXISTENT? Will us mag’s claim stand up in court?

To all those haters, forming an opinion against her means you SUCK UP everything this tabloids said. It means you dont do CRITICAL THINKING.

Janice Min is Petty. Hollywood is like High school but with money

ITA:

AIKO got excited and it staightend out her English. She stiffened out for nothing, now she has rigor mortis.

682
To Clau Says:

March 28th, 2007 at 12:41 pm - flag comment
ITA:

AIKO got excited and it staightend out her English. She stiffened out for nothing, now she has rigor mortis.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Remember there are NO pictures of Angie in Chicago???

How true can this be?

Will this claim of Angie in Chicag stand up in court????

Bomb threat at e!!

687
voice of reason Says:
March 28th, 2007 at 1:08 pm - flag comment
Considering BP and AJ have 4 children and Aniston -0 - You are reaching with your
voice of unreason. AJ has taken ample time off with all her children.

someone was asking for Star cover, go here http://popculturehipster.com/img/starcover-118.jpg

Tomkat is red hot right now.

To me, though I love Brad and Angelina dearly, if they separate, I will be sad but there will absolutely be no hatred on my part because they will still be bonded forever because they have Mad, Pax, Zee and Shi.
***********
Agreed. Angelina can be a lot of things but she is not stupid, she knows exactly what she doing for good or bad. One more thing you never know what really goes on behaind close doors.

Aaaaaaaaaah Lamey - always a day late and a dollar short. Didn’t I read almost the EXACT same thing about how brilliant Angelina was in outmaneuvering the International Papz in Viet Nam a WHOLE WEEK ago?? (Hello?!) Try a new one Lainey.

But speaking of smart - since it looks like PT won’t be by with her tab report - I will tell you about what the “handwriting expert” said in that STAR “Nanny” issue that I brought up (at the time, I didn’t want to spoil and our step on toes - but I guess it’s okay now).

Anyway - the handwriting expert pretty much said what we already knew about Angelina, that she is brilliant. They said her ‘handwriting’ is indicative of someone who’s IQ is in the GENIUS category. Heee! Yeah…sorry haters…beautiful, sexy, the love of Brad Pitt’s life, the mother of his children, Oscar winner, UN Global humanitarian award recipient, Council on Foreign Relation’s latest inductee, AND…oh yeah…a GENIUS!!

Muahahahah….marinate in THAT haters. :-D

Switching gears…..

644
ok Says:

March 28th, 2007 at 10:13 am - flag comment
How is this Brad’s fault…Angelina should learn from Brad, notice Angelinas gives the tabloid media all the ammo by actually talking, they are using her own words, why did angie find it necessary to actually give an interview to the newspaper in vietnam, the adoption is no ones biz, yes the media follows them, but what was the rush 1. to release pictures ( she could have waited a bit). Brad has not given the media anything, angie should actually try following his lead, they can’t get Brad, cause he does not speak about his personal life in the detail that Angie does…Angelina adopted as a single parent, had her peeps announced the adoption( without Brad) took pictures (without Brad) and now it is his fault …Please

Er, not all of us fans, think some stupid tabloid article from the WORST and most OBVIOUS liar in the rag biz is somehow ‘Brad’s fault’ so let’s not go throwing Angelina to the wolves and second guessing her decisions already due to of ALL people, Janice ‘Science Fiction’ Min. First of all, it’s clear these two people discuss, strategize, and plan TOGETHER. The adoption, and CERTAINLY regarding pictures of the kids and their family — having control over that to a certain degree. Brad has already ‘talked with media’ about his feelings regarding that. So I guess you missed it.

…and what’s with this, “they can’t get Brad,” business — they can and do “get Brad,” all the time (what do you think the last 2 years of the Maniston ‘triangle’ was, if it wasn’t GETTING Brad?! Last time I looked, having your character questioned and forever being branded a cheating lying insensitive scumbag was indeed “getting Brad”) - now, sure — it hasn’t had the same catty viciousness that’s reserved for another female (that your demonstrating to by the way) - but Brad has gotten his..he just doesn’t care, much like Angelina.

I can’t wait for her to get pregnant. I know the wheels will really come off of the wagon then. But remember she told AC, and D. Sawyer that they would adopt, then have another child. Of course everyone has forgotten those conversations. Diane even said let her know first when she get pregnant. Of course everyone will say that Brad didn’t know about it. She tricked him. lmao. Then they adopt a child for Z. The press, tabs, everyone will s@@t their pants. Us weekly will have to close down shop for not getting the first pictures and stories. Of course they will guess the wrong date of birth for the birth baby, and they will bring in a slew of psychiatrists to analyze this and everything else. They will say it is too soon for another child, Brad is good, Angie is bad, the children will suffer, and we will never get out of Iraq. Peace.

THE TABLOID REPORT

Okay, folks, repeat after me, “Passing Through is a slacker and a procrastinator.” Remember this…it won’t be the last time you say it…

Alrighty…now that we’ve established that…let’s move on to what the tabs have to say this week. By now most of you have probably read the People magazine. If not, check Sammie’s site for the scans - http://sammie323.blogspot.com/2007/03/people-april-2-2007.html. The People magazine’s story is the measuring stick to which all the other tabs’ stories can be compared. For the most part, surprisingly, the other tabs get the story right. We do, of course, have bits of fictional “color” added to the stories to keep the readers interested. In other words…none of these mags has ever heard the phrase, “I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.”

- National Enquirer: Story: “Experts Blast Angelina’s Cruel Adoption”. I guess the good folks at NE didn’t think that title was a little over the top…but…got to get the readers’ attention. There’s lots of competition for the consumer dollar these days.

* From the beginging of their story the NE starts with the accusations against Angie. According to them she removed Pax from “the only loving care” he’s ever had and the only “mom” he’s ever known. (Sidebar: I really don’t think that sharing a babysitter with 326 other children qualifies as “loving care”. Could be me, though.)

* The NE says that adoption reduced Pax to tears and according to NE cadre of experts and could possibly scar him for life. (Sidebar: Kinda like reading this sh#t is scarring ME for life.)

* NE further says that while Angie may have had good intentions “leading therapists” say the adoption proccess was “jarring” and unintentionally “cruel” and over it was “handled atrociously”. (Sidebar: Kinda like NE’s handling of the story of the adoption, but at least their accusations against Angie say “unintentionally cruel” whereas NE is intentionally cruel. Rather ironic, wouldn’t you say?)

* A lot of NE’s accusations are based on a SUPPOSED interview with Pax’s nurse (Bui Thi Bich Tuyen) at the orphanage. According to her, “It all happened so quickly. He’s now surrounded by strangers. He will be asking for me, but no one will understand what he is saying. There was no time for me to say goodbye.” (Sidebar: I’m still trying to figure out how the NE thinks it was Angie’s fault the nurse didn’t know about the adoption ahead of time. Seems like that’s an issue between the nurse and her boss!)

* According to NE, the nurse says that Angie “breezed in” and “scooped up” Pax and was gone within 30 minutes of arriving. (Sidebar: Somehow I think NE put words in her mouth…”breezed in” and “scooped up”? Now, I’m no expert on Vietnam…but somehow these do NOT seem like phrases a most likely uneducated glorified babysitter would use.)

* NE’s experts say the swift departure from the orphanage could be damaging to Pax. According to their - new word folks and you heard it hear first - SHRINXPERT (def: tabloid “expert” who’s specialy is psychology/psychiatry), the good Dr. Joyce Brothers, “Adoption is a very hard thing for a child to go through - and Angelina should have done it better. The oprhanage is the only world he knows, and he should have been better prepared for leaving it.” (Sidebar: Do we really need another run-down on the credentials of the 97 year-old Dr. Joyce Brothers? Two words for ya - Hollywood Squares. Just a word of advice for the folks at the NE - if you want your expert to be taken seriously, the phrases “I sat in the square between Paul Lynde and Charlie Weaver.” and “I’ll take ____________ to block.” should NEVER be on their resume. If you don’t know who Paul Lynde & Charlie Weaver are…well, let’s just say they were on the show in the 1970s…which kind of tells you how long it’s been since good old Dr. Joyce last had an opinion on anything that someone didn’t pay her to have.)

* According to Pax’s nurse, who spoke to NE through a translator, the adoption was sudden and a surprise to both her and Pax and they were given no transitionary period so Pax could get used to the idea of being adopted. The nurse says that Angelina “whisked him off” in a big hurry and poor Pax didn’t even get to take his favorite teddy bear. The nurse says, “I meant to pack it for him, but everything was such a rush. He backed awy from Angelina and went into a corner, sobbing. He had no idea what was going on except that he was going to be taken away by a stranger.” (Sidebar: Uh, excuse my ass for pointing this out to the NE and Ms. Tuyen, but it’s not Angie’s fault the VN authorities CHOSE not to tell Pax he was being adopted. They knew about it weeks, if not months, that was THEIR decision, not Angie’s.)

* NE also says that besides being jerked away from his only home, Pax will also have to suffer the indignity of having his name changed. They drag in another shrinxpert who says, “New parents should allow the child to keep his real name for a tleast a little while. It’s about the only thing he’ll bring with him from his home. (Sidebar: How do they know that the J-Ps aren’t calling the boy “Sang” within the PRIVACY of their home? Just because they renamed him…it doesn’t mean that’s what they’re calling him when they talk to him.)

* Just when I thought NE was done with Dr. Joyce, she pops up her little bobbed head again (the woman has had she same helmet-hair-bob for 40 years) and she says the adoption whould have been done, “more gently” and that “Angelina should have spent more time with the boy before they left. Explaining to him what was happening. Very often children with this kind of tramua in their past have trouble building trust as they get older. They have problems forming attachments to friends and lovers.” (Sidebar: Once again…it’s Angelina’s fault because the boy wasn’t told ahead of time what was happening. She spent 20 minutes calming the boy down before they left. Maybe if he’d been told more than 10 minutes before her arrival he wouldn’t have had such a severe reaction. Still, is it really necessary to project the boy won’t be able to form attachments in 20 years? Hell, I know people who weren’t adopted abruptly who have the same problem. What’s the explanation for that, Dr. Joyce?)

* To further drive home their point that Angie is a thoughtless adopter of orphaned children in need, NE drags in yet another shrinxpert who says, “I am startled Angelina Jolie would so abruptly disrupt the apparent 3 year-old bond between Pax and his primary caregiver. It could potentially traumatize the child. He could experience profound fears of abandonment that could last a lifetime. It could promote chronic feelings of being unloved. Frequently, these children grow up to exhibit poor school behavior and academic performance, extreme obesity or anorexia and problems with drug and alcohol.” (Sidebar: Let’s see…because Pax was taken from his primary caregiver, who was NOT related to him and who divided her time between Pax and 24 other children, without HER being able to say goodbye, he faces a future filled with academic failure, drugs, alcohol and eating disorders. Now let’s compare that to some of today’s celebs who grew up in 2-parent homes or with both parents playing an active role in their upbringing - Paris, Britney and Nicole. Need I say more?)

* Just when I had begun to despair, NE tells us their IS some good news - thanks to “bighearted Angelina”, poor nurse/caregiver deprived Pax will want for nothing and will be raised in a house full of love with a whole passel of siblings. (Sidebar: According to their experts he’ll be a hot mess…but a LOVED hot mess.)

* Unfortunately NE goes on to temper my mounting joy by saying that first Pax will have to “bounce back,” which their next Shrinxpert, Dr. Susan Forward (who’s written a few pop psych self-help books in the ’70s and ’80s) says, “was handled atrociously. It was cruel. He may get through this ok, if he’s resilient enough, but this is a trauma which could ruin his life. It could be a psychological disaster.” (Sidebar: Once again…I fail to see how the mishandling of Pax being informed he’d been adopted is Angelina’s fault. As the adopter she has no legal control over how the situation is hanled BEFORE she picks up the child. But…writing a story about the supposed screw-ups director of the VN adoption program and the director of the oprhanage is NOT what sells their piece of sh#t rag. Blaming Angelina, though…that’s guaranteed to move some extra copies at the newsstand.)

-OK!: Story: Maddox’s little brother! As Angelina Jolie adopts son from Vietnam OK! reveals how Mad has changed both their lives.” Good ole Mad…savior of sex vixens and adorable orphaned urchins…what’s not to love?

* The OK! starts their story with Angie approaching Pax at the orphanage when she ent to pick him up. They say that “by her side was the most imporant person in her world, not Brad, but Maddox.” They go on to quote Angelina from an old interview when she said, “He’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to my life.” Therefore, they say, it’s no surprise that Mad played a key role in her decision to adopt Pax. (Sidebar: It’s also no surprise that they’d spin into a melodramatic epiphany when in fact it was simple common sense that led to Maddox’s presence!)

* OK! says that last June, when Angie spoke to Anderson Cooper, she indicated that they would adopt next instead of having another bio baby. According to a supposed friend of Brad’s he was “on board with her choice” but in the ind he had little influence on Angie’s decision. “Angelina is in the driver’s seat. When they visited the Vietnamese orphanage together during Thanksgiving, Brad loved all the children he saw and would have taken all the orphans home if he could.” However, Angie had her sights set on getting a brother for Mad. The friend says, “She knew he needed to be younger, but close enough in age that they culd play together.” and Pax fit that need perfectly. (Sidebar: Let us refer back to our course - Tabloid Journalism 101. Here’s new tactic - Tactic #6: Use an old quote to create a new quote. Brad has about the children he was in Africa that he’d like to grab as many as he could and take them all home. Now his “friend” has him saying the same thing in VN and voila…new quote about the kids in the VN orphanage. And the “Angie’s in charge” crack? Unnecessary. Let us refer to the People mag and the adoption agency rep, Heidi Gonazales, who made it clear that Angie had no control over the sex of the child referred to her for adoption. So…busted on Lie #1.)

* According to OK! because Pax hadn’t been informed that he was being adopted that day he was unprepared and bawled his little eyes out, but Angie comforted him and they spent some time together in a separate room so he could regain his composure, and afterwards he even played some with Mad. A supposed friend of Angie’s says, “Maddox is going to be a great big brother. People think Angie saved Maddox’s life, but in fact Maddox saved Angelina.” OK! says it now seems that Mad is also responsible for saving Pax. (Sidebar: Still working Tactic #6, I see.)

* OK! ponders about the location of Brad while his peeps where in VN bringing home the newest J-P. OK! learned - exclusively, no doubt - that Angie asked Brad to stay home with Z and Shiloh because she didn’t want to overwhelm Pax with his new instant family and she wanted to take some time having Pax bond with just her and Mad. (Sidebar: Uh…how in the fcuk could 3 kids “overwhelm” someone used to living with 326 other kids? And Brad stayed home cuz Angie asked him to? ROTFLMFAO. Lame, lame, lame, lame, lame…and also…Lie #2. In the future OK!…when you don’t know the truth…at least try to come up with something more original than “Angie asked him to”.)

* OK! next trots out their shrinkxpert who says Angie made an excellent decision in taking Maddox with her to pick up Pax. The shrinxpert says “What Angelina seems to be doing with Maddox so far is perfect. SHe’s communicating with him every step of the way on what’s happening, prepareing him for this new addition to their household. Her decision to include him in the process shows a sensitivity and awareness of the importance of her first child, who once had her all to himself.” (Sidebar: Finally! A shrinxpert with some sense!)

* A soon-to-be ex-friend of Brad’s says that although he’s excited about the adoption, “He’s also worried. He likes the status quo and doesn’t want to rock the boat.” (Sidebar: Lie #3. We all know that Brad has said on humpty-hump occasions that he wants a soccer team…you can’t play in the World Cup with 3 players…expecially not when 2 of them wouldn’t even qualify…onacounta they’re GIRLS!”

* OK!’s shrinxpert says that Brad has a point. “Having Pax join the family won’t be hassle-free” but Mad can “help smooth the transition” because “having Maddox as a big brother is very advantageous, because being a child of similar culture, he can facilitate Pax’s adjustment.” (Sidebar: Ooh looky…a shrinxpert who’s saying that Angie isn’t crazy in considering the races of the children she adopts. Could it be that Angie and Brad know what’s best for their fami…nahhhhh)

* Back to the adoption, OK! says that following the welcoming ceremony at the orphanage Angie and the kids flew to Hanoi to complete the process and get Pax’s Visa. They say that since VN doesn’t allow unmarried couples to adopt that Brad will have to co-adopt once Angie gets back to the US, the same as he did with Z & Mad. Of course they had to trot out their adoption attorney expert who says the process to become a legal guardian takes 4-6 monhts. In Brad’s case it would likely be “fast-tracked” and Brad would then have the same parental rights as a biological father. This process typically would inclide interviews with Child Protective Services. OK’s PAID shyster says, “There’s not going to be any difficulty or roadblocks.” (Sidebar: Since when has a US Court EVER been able to “fast-track” anything? I have worked for a local government agency and “fast” is a relative term. For instance, the speed with which the government spends your tax dollar is a lot more rapid than the speed with which any monies due back to you will be paid out.)

* Now that Angie has 4 kids, OK! says she’s on the look-out for a second nanny and is using the Grapevine Agency, which provides nannies to “Hollywood’s elite”. OK! says the new nanny “must be able to work long hours” and “be prepared to travel frequently and far”. OK!’s PAID SOURCE says, “Four children is too much for just one nanny to take care of. It’s clear that Angie and Brad are both devoted parents but with their busy lifestyles and work commitments, they need some extra help with the kids.” (Sidebar: Bribing people at a nanny service to give your story a new angle? Geez…that’s kinda pathetic, ain’t it?)

* OK!’s PAID SOURCE at says the applicants will be thoroughly investigated, with reference and background checks run on each candidate and only the “top notch” candidates will be sent to Brad & Angie for them to select from. OK! says that although the hours will be long it will be worth it because high-end nannies can make up to $100K per year. They also admit that the Grapevine Agency didn’t tell them squat and would only say, “We never comment on your clients.” (Sidebar: In other words, OK! doesn’t know sh#t from shineola…but…they ain’t admitting that.)

* OK! goes on to speculate as to what’s next for the J-Ps now that they’ve adopted another ankle-biter. According to them Brad has just finished filming CCOBB (Lie #4) and will soon start filming “Dirty Tricks” with Meryl Streep (Lie #5); Angelina has put her career on hold to say home with the kids (Lie #6) and quote her as saying, “I will stay at home to help Pax adjust to his new life. I have 4 kids…” (Sidebar: OK! needs to stop getting their info from the notoriously inaccurate IMDB. Brad’s not going to be in Dirty Tricks…and we knew way before the OK! went to press that Angie signed on to do “Wanted” so OK! had that information BEFORE they went to press.)

* Caption: According to a caption of a picture of Jane Pitt with Shiloh & Maddox in the carriage in NO, a supposed friend of Brad’s says the new adoption will have a huge impact on Angie’s “rocky relationship” with Jane…but in a good way…”They seem to be getting much closer.” (Sidebar: BBBBWWWHHHAHAHAHAHA! Poor X, no more phone calls to Jane to commiserate. Boo hoo. Then again, this is just OK-ese for, “We’ve been lying about Angie and Jane not getting along, but we can’t just come right out and say that.)

* Sidebar: How does X Feel? Another tab proffered this question last week…and I have the same answer…who the fcuk cares? Certainly not Brad or he’d still be with the *****.

* OK! Poll: OK! asked a whole 100 New York readers (they don’t specifiy WHAT these people were reading) - Should Angelina & Brad take a break from adopting? 70% said Yes, 30% said No. (Sidebar: It’s interesting to note that this poll was NOT taken at an orphanage of little kids who’d love to have a mommy and daddy of their own. I challenge OK! to go to an orphanage and take your poll there…and get back to me…I’ll even let you people pick the orphanage.)

* OK! Poll: Apparently the previous poll wasn’t banal enough because they also took the following poll - they asked 100 New York readers (once again, no word on WHAT the people were reading), the following question: Do you believe Jen is happy for Brad? 35% of the idiots said Yes, 65% of the smart people said No. (Sidebar: Here’s a poll for the staff at OK! How many people reading this little report will be buying your next issue? Ask your employees as you’re giving them their pink slips.)

-US Weekly: Story: “Angelina’s First Day WIth Pax”. Janice Min was too busy putting together her stunning expose on Tom Cruise to put much of an effort into US’s adoption story. However, that is no excuse for bad fan fiction!

* US’s fictional account of Pax’s adoption start at the Park Hyatt hotel on March 15 where Z was running around like a whirling dervish while Angie was out on an errand. According to a hotel guest, “She was clearly excited about something.” (Sidebar: My guess? It wasn’t this story.)

* According to US while Angie was out on her errand 4 bags of toys were brought to her hotel suite, where there were 2 nannies changing Shiloh. One nanny said to Shiloh, “You’ve got a pooey nappy, cutie.” The other nanny said, “I know you want to play, but you smell.” While the nannies were changing Shiloh the phone rang and, sonofagun if it wasn’t Brad! He called to check on how things were going and one nanny said to Shiloh and Z, “That was your daddy on the phone.” (Sidebar: Hey…I warned ya it was bad fiction! Here are a few things that bugged me about this - if it takes more than 1 nanny to change a baby’s diaper…then chances are, they’re NOT very good nannies. Second thing, Shiloh wasn’t in VN. Third thing, “pooey nappy”? Sounds like someone’s been copping bad fic from the British tabs again. Couldn’t ya at least change the phrase to US English, ie, “stinky diaper”? Is that really so much to ask of you Janice?)

* US says that at 11am Angie returned with the “special delivery” they were all waiting for - Pax. Room service brought up a huge feast, including french fries, Vietnamese beef skewers and panini sandwiches. A “bystander” says, “There was lots of laughter and excited noises coming from their hotel room. It really sounded like all the young ones got along.” (Sidebar: Geez, great inside source Janice - a “bystander”? Hiring the guy in the room next door to put a water glass to the wall is rather desperate, ain’t it?)

* Unfortunately for Angie the adoption wasn’t all fun and games. When at the orphanage earlier Pax cried when she came to pick him up. The orphange director says, “Pax was scared and cried ut loud when he first saw Angelina. She had to comfort him for half an hour until he stopped crying. I asked her if it bothered her, but she said kids are like that. US said that Angie whispered, “Don’t worry” to Pax in Vietnamese to sooth Pax. They also say that Maddox was there trying to comfort him, too. Trung says, “He was very sweet to the boy, touching him and being very attentive”. (Sidebar: I’m so pround of Janice! She actually got something right! Maybe she figured some of the 50,000 news wire accounts of the events at the orphanage MIGHT just be true?)

* According to US the reason Pax was crying was because he hadn’t been told he was being adopted that day. According to Heidi Gonzalez, the rep from the adoption agency Angie used, he wasn’t told “so that he wouldn’t be scared.” (Sidebar: Somebody correct may ass, but…I don’t it worked out that way!)

* However…US says the orphanage did prepare Pax by having him pack all his sh#t and teaching him a few phrases of English, “How are you?” and “What’s your name.” (Sidebar: Well, now…that was mighty white of ‘em, don’tcha think? Somehow I don’t think they thought too carefully about which phrases they taught him or that they ever got around to explaining the meaning of the myriad of answers those 2 questions could provoke. For instance, Brad and Angie are in the London and Pax says, “How are you?” to
a man of questionable cleanliness and foul odor. This man answers, “Whuh da fcuk bizness iz it o’ yorn ya lit’el fcuker!” Somehow…I don’t think that answer should be followed up with the only other English phrase Pax knows, “What’s your name?”)

* US next delves into the brief history of Pax’s pre-adoption life, explaining the circumstances that led to him being placed in the orphanage and say that it was the social workers there that named him. The orphanage director, Trung, says Pax is a shy, but “very close to the maids who take care of him” and like most orphans he is “afraid of strangers”. (Sidebar: The kid’s afraid of strangers, but y’all still didn’t think it was a good idea to tell him you were sending him off with one…forever?)

* According to US when Angie and Brad visited the orphanage in Nov 2006 they did not single out Pax for attention. However after Angie received the referral from the adoption agency she went back to VN on Jan 18-19 to file the first set of paperwork needed to put the adoption in motion. According to their source it was approximately 60 days from the time Angie filed the paperwork to when she was allowed to pick up Pax at the orphanage. (Sidebar: Good for Janice…making good use of some of those 50,000 news reports again.)

* US quotes Heidi Gonzalez, the rep from Angie’s adoption agency, who explains that the adoption was NOT fast-tracked, “Her paperwork wasn’t expedited or fast-tracked.” However, US says that Gonzalez does admit that things moved quickly once Angelina was in VN. “I know they moved Pax’s passport though faster because of the media frenzy. It was for the cild’s safety.” (Sidebar: Take that, Janice Min! Hopefully Janice understood what Heidi Gonzalez meant - if YOU hadn’t sicced the razzi on Angie so YOU could have an exclusive photo…then the VN government wouldn’t have had to treat Angie any differently than they would any other adoptive family…beeyotch.)

* In a mea culpa US goes on to admit that despite a source saying that Angie would turn over $2MIL to the orphanage on the day she received Pax, both the director of the VN adoption department and the orphanage director say that is not true. (Sidebar: Poor Janice probably would’ve rather donated a kidney to X than admit this. Nah…I think she hates X more than she hates Brad & Angie.)

* US goes on to ponder what comes next for Pax. According to Trung (the orphanage director) it’s going to take time for Angie to gain Pax’s affection and “like all orphans he needs love.” (Sidebar: Pax does need love…apparently in the form of a Gameboy! You know my motto - the quickest way to a child’s heart is through his electronic toys!)

* According to US Angie is more than up to the challenges with Pax that lie ahead and cite Angie as saying, “I will stay home…” (Sidebar: I’m pretty sure they only included this quote so that next week they can make fun of Angie taking the “Wanted” gig. I didn’t include the full quote that US used, but they left out the “at the moment” part of Angie’s comment that she’d be a stay-at-home mom.)

* Sidebar: About Pax Thien. US demonstrates that they are equally adept at stalking in foreign countries as they are in the US. Not only do they have Pax’s Visa photo, but they combed the 50,000 adoption stories for tidbits about the tyke, including his height, weight, food preferences, and his inability to speak more than a few words of English. (Sidebar: Janice, babe, tsk tsk tsk…stalking 3 year-olds is so unbecoming.)

* Sidebar: Angelina’s Thank-You Note To Orphanage: Yes, US has Angie’s thank-you note…and yes, as expected they’ve dug up a hand-writing expert to analyze Angie’s chicken scratches. Said expert claims that Angie’s scrawl, “which as large capital letters, yet is mostly illegible” reveals the following about her, “A person who likes to be seen, but not known. It has ‘assertive energy.’” (Sidebar: I sure hope this dude has a full-time j-o-b, cuz I don’t think he’s very good at analyzing handwriting. My interpretation of Angie’s handwriting is slightly different. To me it says, “I know the tabs are going to get a copy of this so I’m going to make it as illegible as possible.”)

* Sidebar: What Does Birth Order Mean? According to US’s expert of “family dynamics, it means the following for the J-P kids:

- Maddox, 5, the oldest: he’ll be “conscientious, responsible, protective of his younger siblings, most likely excellent in school”

- Pax, 3, middle child: “agreeable, a peacemaker - good at wheeling and dealing, since the first-born has physical dominance”.

- Z, 2, middle child: “Open to experience and like Pax, likely to be very agreeable.”

- Shiloh, 10 mos., youngest: She’ll be “obstinate, extroverted and fun-loving.”

(Sidebar of my own: Seeing as how I am #6 in a family of 7 kids, let me give you the REAL lowdown on family dynamics. This is what “birth order means” - Mad gets to tell Pax, Z & Shiloh what to do and brag that it’s his right as the oldest. Pax gets to tell Z & Shiloh what to do, but not Maddox, using the same same excuse Maddox gives. Z gets to tell Shiloh what to do, but not Mad & Pax. Shiloh doesn’t get to tell anyone what to do, but will be allowed by Brad & Angie to get away with murder to make up for the fact that she has no one to boss around. The other 3 children will piss and moan that Shiloh gets away with murder while they’re held accountable for every little mistake they make. Shiloh will then blow raspberries at them behind her parents’ backs and mock their misery.)

OuttaTouch: Story - “Angelina’s New Son In Tears”. Now there’s a nice, spiffy, negative title to get the ball rolling. Gee…I wonder what their story is going to be about?

* OuttaTouch starts their tale of woe with Angie and Mad’s arrival at the orphanage. They were surrounded by excited children, but none of them were more excited than Mad…cuz he was about to meet his new bro! Although it should’ve been a happy occasion, it was very trying for Pax because he’d just found out he’d been adopted. According to the orphanage director, Trung, “At first the boy started crying loudly and backed himself into a corner. But Angelina calmed him down and held him.” (Sidebar: Ooh, check out OuttaTouch…going with an overly melodramatic version of the truth which is not quite as bad as the title of the story leads you to believe.)

* According to Outtatouch this is not the last “tricky transition” for Pax. Not only does the little guy have to adjust to a new language, but also a name change. As expected OuttaTouch dusts off their shrinxpert for this valuable nugget of expertise, “This will be confusing to him. This lack of identity may lead the child to act out later on.” (Sidebar: Or it could just make him scratch his head and wonder why anyone would have named him the past tense of “Song” in the first place.)

* OuttaTouch claims that according to Heidi Gonzalez at Angie’s adoption agency, after Angie & Brad visited the Tam Binh in November they “requested a boy toddler because Angelina felt that would be the right fit for the family.” They also quote the director of VN adoption services, Nguyen, as saying, “I gave Angelina a list of 10 children for her to pick from.” (Sidebar: ROTFLMAO. Lies of omission and misdirection. Angie may have requested a boy toddler, but ultimately they had no say in the referral and notice that they left out that part of Heidi Gonzalez’s quote? Oh well…whattaya want for a buck-ninety-nine? The WHOLE TRUTH costs $3.50 or whatever it is that People charges for a BAMZSP photo exclusive cover issue.)

* Continuing in a negative vein, Outtatouch says that Angie will need “all of hr mother skills” to help Pax adjust to his new life. Once again they quote Heidi Gonzalez, “The beginning in Vietnam was tough, but with anybody adopting a child, there’s a process of adjustment. Pax lived at the orphanage his entire life, so it was difficult.” (Sidebar: Well…duh!)

* Added to the rough beginning, Pax is being “thrust into the opposite lifestyle” - a “wealthy Hollywood existence with bodyguards to fend off kidnapping threats” (Sidebar: ROTLFMAO…that line was just so over-the-top I had to quote it!) - and surely Pax will have pangs of guilt about his new life. Back to the shrinxpert, “He may feel bad for missing his old home, when he lives in such luxury.” (Sidebar: Then again he may be too busy playing with his new Gameboy in his new pool in his new mansion with his new personal nanny with his new brother, sisters, Mommy and Daddy. Personally…I think the kid will adjust just fine. Hell…if he doesn’t Angie can return Pax for a refund and adopt ME! I’ll even let Z keep her nasty Cheerios to herself. The cracker issue, though, is between her and Shiloh. I’m staying out of that one. Is there a law in this country against adopting grown women? Prolly…)

* OuttaTouch goes on to say that Angie has already apologized to Pax for the upheaval in his life, “I would like to say I’m sorry for bringing this into Pax’s life.” (Sidebar: More misdirection and lies. Angie wasn’t apologizing to Pax, you stinkin’ liars. She was apologizing to the adoption authorities for the media circus surrounding the adoption.)

* On a positive note, OuttaTouch’s shrinxpert says that in the long run Pax is better off, “If the parents are understanding, loving and supportive, the children can adjust with ease into the family.” (Sidebar: I wonder what the going rate is for mediocre tabloid shrinxpert expertise? Fifty bucks per bad quote seems a little excessive, but I guess the tabs’ checks cash just as easily, if not more so, than someone with a real mental health issue…and no insurance.)

* In the Caption of a photo of Angie & Mad a PAID “INSIDER” says, “The two boys get along well. Pax will sleep in Maddox’s room. He picked out things and helped with his bed.” (Sidebar: ROTFL. Uh…I’m gonna hazard a guess and say this is the fan fic portion of the article. It’s not a stretch to assume that Pax and Mad will be roomies, but Pax picking out “things” for is bed? Lame-o-rama.)

- Lifeless & Styleless: Story: “Inside Angie’s Adoption Scandal!” Yet another sensational headline…but do they deliver the chuckles?

* According to L&S Angelina got more than she bargained for in VN - “a dose of controversy” - due to rumors that her adoption had been fast-tracked. According to an insider, and no, they don’t specify WHAT the person is inside, “All Angelina and Brad cared about was giving this boy a happy life, but Angelina can’t do anything good without people questioning her motives. It has made this whole experience bittersweet.” (Sidebar: Hmm…a very believeable quote…yet I’m sure L&S doesn’t see the irony between this quote and the title of their story.)

* L&S says that Angie’s rep denies the adoption was fast-tracked but the VN adoption minister does acknowledge that things moved fast. It usually takes 6 months, but Angie’s adoption only took 4 months because during their visit to VN in November Angie had selected Pax as the child she wanted to adopt. L&S’s adoption attorney expert also says, “Plus she has adopted in the past, so the paperwork is already in order.” (Sidebar: Here’s how pathetic this piece of sh#t rag is - the facts of the adoption were known well before they went to press, and documented correctly in all 6 of the other weekly mags…but L&S STILL CHOSE to lie about Angie selecting Pax on a prior visit to VN. This, folks, is why L&S is overpriced at a buck-ninety-nine and will remain a bottom-feeder in the gossip world. If you can’t get online and read the 50,000 factual accounts of the adoption and recount them accurately…and then print lies…chances are…people AIN’T gonna buy your mag! Ya freaking idiots!)

* L&S does say that despite claims by another publication that Angie paid the orphanage $2MIL, the rep for her adoption agency, Heidi Gonzalez denies this, “Angelina hasn’t made or ever promised to make any financial contributions.” (Sidebar: Let’s see…they can debunk US’s lies…but not their own? That would be fairly entertaining if it weren’t so sad.)

* L&S goes on to say that the scandal didn’t lessen Angie’s joy and at the orphanage she and Pax began bonding as he cried. A PAID LOCAL INSIDER says, “At first he was timid, but she hugged him and he became friendlier.” (Sidebar: They can’t even get the simplest details right! I guess it was just too mentally taxing for someone at L&S to read even 1 of the 50,000 adoption stories? Reading may be fundamental, but apparently NOT a requirement for L&S staffers.)

* Meanwhile…back in LA Brad prepared for Pax by going on a “toy-buying spree”. According to a soon-to-be-former-friend of Angies, “Angelina says she and Brad are giving a child in need a home, and that’s all that matters. They’re ecsatic.” (Sidebar: Uh…someone at L&S needs to discuss story transition with the author of this piece. How did she go from buying toys to giving a “child in need” a home? Cuz…a child in need ain’t exactly gonna be focused on the toys. He’s more likely going to be worried about his next meal!)

* L&S as usuas has a number of sidebars, most of which contain material covered by all the tabs, but they did have a couple that are different -

* Sidebar: Is Maddox Jealous of Pax? Yes, that’s right, L&S had a new bone they’re gnawing on. I guess when the wedding & X meeting never happened they decided to work a new angle. They say that according to a supposed friend of Angie’s, Maddox is having trouble adjusting to his new bro, “He threw two temper tantrums because he was upset with how much attention Angelina was giving Pax. She explained to Maddox that he was once in Pax’s position and that he needs to make Pax feel at home.” (Sidebar: Low blow L&S, low blow. Lying about adults is one thing, but lying about kids? Shame on you. Bonnie Fuller doing the same the week before was bad enough, but couldn’t you at least wait until they bring Pax home before starting with the jealous sibling rivalry cr#pola?)

*Sidebar: Will Angelina Get Pregnant Next? According to L&S’s PAID INSIDER Angie hadn’t even gotten Pax home when Brad started asking her for another bio baby. Angie’s supposed friend says, “He said that by this time next year, he hopes she’s pregnant, but Angelina needs to catch her breath before she even starts thinking about more kids.” (Sidebar: Ah, Journalism 101, Tactic #6 - using old quotes to create new quotes. I’m surprised they didn’t go for the predictable “I want a soccer team” quote to validante the truthfulness of their inside information…but I guess that woulda been laying it on a little thick, huh?)

Star: Story: NannyGate - Angelina’s new son, Pax, yanked away from the only place he called home!” Can you tell this rag is published by the same losers who thoughtfully provide the world with “The National Enquirer”? I wouldn’t use either one of these suckers for toilet paper in a sh#t storm…but I digress…On to our story…Star, like the NE, focuses their adoption story on that poor nurse who looked after Pax in the orphanage and was traumatized by him being ripped from her arms without so much as a by-your-leave. (BTW - anybody out there know what that phrase means?

* Pax’s primary caregiver’s name is Bui Thi Bich Tuyen, hereafter referred to as Tuyen because typing out her full name is a Bich, and she looked after Pax from the time he was first came to the orphanage…a whole 3 years ago. She has 2 kids of her own and cared for 25 kids at the orphanage, BUT…as luck would have it…Pax had “a favored place in her heart.” (Sidebar: How fortuitous…and profitable..for her. No doubt she’d be saying the exact same thing if Angie had adopted little Tranh instead of little Sang.) She says that “Sang was always special. He’s such a bright little boy - cheeky and playful. He had answers for everything!” (Sidebar: Anybody else having a little problem visualizing someone in Vietnam using the word “cheeky”? Methinks the British tabs had a hand in providing the “interpreter” for the Star’s interview!)

* Poor Tuyen apparently cannot image the “fate” that awaits Sang. The poor dear only found out the day before Angie come to pick him up that Sang was being adopted. She says, “It all happened so fast, and there was nothing I could do. The orphanage director told me to prepare his clothes because someone was taking him away!” (Sidebar: Did anyone explain to this twit that she was only looking after these kids until they found a home for them? Cuz…it’s an ORPHANAGE…so there’s a big-ass clue for her right there!)

* As Tuyen put Pax to bed on the evening of March 14, she said she did all she could to prepare him for his big day on March 15. “I told him he was going on an exciting trip, and that he was going to go far away for a long time. He didn’t understand. He just looked at me normally. Sang is a lively boy, but when I told him he was silent. He just got into bed, turned over and went to sleep.” (Sidebar: There’s little doubt in my mind that Pax DID understand what she was saying. I have learned, exclusively, that just before he rolled over to go to sleep the other 24 children clearly heard him mutter, “Yeah, yeah…shut up already, Bich. Hopefully my new “caregiver” tells better bedtime stories.”)

* According to the Star, the next day Angelina renamed little Sang and he became “one of the most talked about kids kids in the world”. However, back at the orphanage, poor old Tuyen was having a hard time dealing with Sang’s adoption. “I’m afraid I will never see him again, and I’m worried for him. He’s surrounded by strangers. He can’t sepak any English. There was no time to prepare him for what was going to happen. It was all so secretive.” (Sidebar: If she was so damned worried about the kid, Bich could’ve adopted him her damn self.)

* The Star says that on the morning Angie and Mad arrived to collect Pax Tuyen told him, “You’re so lucky - ‘You’ve got a movie star who’s going to be your mother!’ But he didn’t understand. I don’t think I’ve seen him so quiet in all the time I’ve looked after him.” (Sidebar: Uh…the kid was quiet because he was trying to figure out what the hell a “movie” is and why he should care that his new mommy was the star of one!)

* The Star goes on to say that when Angie approached Pax he “crumbled into a river of tears”. (Sidebar: Sheesh…someone needs an analogy dictionary.) Tuyen explains, “He backed away from her and ran into a corner sobbing.” Angie tried to comfort Pax, saying to him “It’s alright” in Vietnamese, then she gave him a stuffed animal and he finally calmed down. Angie, Mad and Pax left about 30 minutes after Pax calmed down. The Star says he was “whisked away” to a waiting van with only 2 boxes of clothes and his favorite toys. Tuyen says, “He didn’t seem to know what was going on.” (Sidebar: Okay…Star gets most of the details right, but this is the first I’ve heard of Angie giving Pax a stuff toy when she calmed him down. Was that part true or “dramatic license”, aka, lying!)

* Let the judging of Angelina begin! Star commences trotting out their shrinxperts who say that Pax’s reaction (not seeming aware of what was going on) was to be expected “considering the whirlwin circumstances” of his adoption. The first shrinxpert says, “ALl he knows is that he’s losing the bed he sleeps in every night, his friends, and on top of that, his name. A kid has to first get to know a potential mommy and daddy so they can get comfortable with them.” The shrinxpert says at the very least Angelina should have, “let the child say goodbye and organize his thoughts. He was proably terrified!” (Sidebar: Once again, why was this Angelina’s reponsibility? Did she tackle the nurse and prevent her from going up to Pax and hugging the kid goodbye? Somehow…I doubt it.)

* Next expert…the founder of an adoption group who, as a child, was adopted from Hong Kong and raised in UK, says, “He will be in complete shock. It could have a long-term impact on the way he forms attachments to people. (Sidebar: Uh…pardon my ass and please, correct me if I am wrong, but seeing as how no one has mentioned that young Pax broke away from Angie and ran screaming to Tuyen and clutched at her like a limpet. Not once in any of the 50,000 news stories on this adoption did anyone say that Pax asked for this nurse chick. As Dragonfly used to say - where the hell is she anyway? - I’m gonna break it down crayola style…I’d have to say that’s a big-ass clue that Pax wasn’t all that attached TO HER, thereby making this story…irrelevant. )

* The Star says that althought the adoption may have seemed speedy to us uninformed goobers who buy their rag, it has in fact been in the works since last summer and rehash the info on Angie & Brad’s November visit to the orphanange, Angie adopting as single person, etc. According to Tuyen, during their November visit, “They met lots of children on their visit. But I don’t remember seeing them with Sang. I think she chose him afterward from pictures supplied by the orphanage.” (Sidebar: And as we all now know, that’s inaccurate. Angie did not “choose” Sang…he was given to her as a referral by the adoption agency…who in turn received his name from the Vietnamese adoption authorities.)

* The Star says that Angie’s adoption agency says that the child not meeting the prospective parent(s) is not unusual. One reason for this may be to avoid scandal - like the one Madge created when she saw David Banda in an orphanage and just had to have him, so she created her own law - Madge’s Rules For Illegally Adopting From Malawi. The Agency rep says, “Angelina was referred to a child who had been legally determined to be available for adoption. She accepted the first and only referreal given to her.” (Sidebar: Well, well, well…check out Ms. Fuller…admitting that Angie didn’t “choose” Pax as she had previously printed probably just about gave her a heart attack. Don’t worry Bonnie…telling the truth sometimes is GOOD for the soul…er, or it would be IF you had a one…)

* Next the Star goes on to correct yet another fallacy (of their own) - that Angie was given preferential treatment. They reference Heidi Gonzalez’s quote that Angie’s app was not fast-tracked; and also say that contrary to what another publication reported, there was no $2MIL given to the orphanage. (Sidebar: That loud popping sound you heard was Bonnie Fuller’s head imploding. The truth may set you free, but apparently it can also cause brain implosions.)

* Having just admitted to several lies, Star goes back to being snide and say that Pax is already finding “life with superstars will be anything but normal,” noting that after picking up Pax at the orphanage Angie tried to keep a low profile with little success and quote Angie as saying, “Photographers make him very upset. I’m sorry for bringing this into Pax’s life.” (Sidebar: Notice how Star doesn’t own up to their share of the blame of WHY Angie is trying to keep a low profile. We wouldn’t want poor Bonnie to be TOO honest, now would we?)

* After discussing Angie’s visit to Hanoi to pick up Pax’s Visa, Star ponders what’s ahead of little Pax - next up meeting Brad, Z and Shiloh in LA. (Sidebar: BBBWWWWHAHAHAHAHA! Yet another tab that didn’t know Z was in Vietnam. There’s gonna be hell to pay in the south 40 next week folks!) Star also says that although there are reports that Angie’s in talks to do “The Changeling” she has vowed to be a stay-at-home-mom, “I’ll help Pax adjust…” (Sidebar: Poor Angie…that quote is going rapidly become the bane of her existence. Of course it doesn’t help that ALL the tabs leave off the “at the moment” part of the quote. Once again, too much truth is bad for business.)

* Of all the J-Ps the Star says Maddox is the most excited about his new bro. According to their PAID SOURCE, “Maddox is very happy and excited to have a brother he can play with. Pax turns 4 this year, and that makes him old enough to be able to related and get along with Maddox. I’m sure they’ll be best buddies in no time.” (Sidebar: Uh…excuse me, but earlier ya’ll were saying the little fella was gonna be traumatized after being yanked from his only nurse and pulled away from his only home and losing his only friends and not speaking any English…now he and Mad are gonna be bestest buds in no time? Damn, Bonnie…talk about hedging your bets. I bet you play Roulette by betting on every number on the freaking wheel!)

* Although young Pax will be too traumatized to realize this, Star says that their are benefits to leaving “impoverish Vietnam” and there are positive changes about to occur in his life “despite recent events”. (Sidebar: I don’t know WTF that means. Getting adopted by the mega-rich and not having to live with 325 other kids seem like a good deal to me.) Star’s shrinxpert says, “Kids are resilient. They can connect through play even if there is a language barrier.” (Sidebar: Whuh? You mean he can still be happy even if he can’t speak English? Golly…is that kinda like being able to be happy even if you can’t speak at all? Gee…who’da thunk?)

* Star also admit that even good old Tuyen is happy for Pax, “I know he will be a good boy for Ms. Jolie. He has gone to a good family and I am very happy for him.” (Sidebar: Poor Miss Bich…I can see how deeply affected she was by Pax leaving. Why…I’m sure that every day since Pax left she’s gone to visit his empty bed and weep for HER loss. But…luckily she’s got the intestinal fortitude to buck up and be happy that poor little Pax is getting by in his new mansion in an exclusive area of LOs Angeles. Whattagal, huh?)

* Sidebar: Angelina’s Thank-You Note. Yes, Star also trotted out their PAID handwriting expert, who declares that Angie’s scratchings, “Indicates high IQ - well into the genius range. The writer sets high goals for herself (and) is very strong-willed. One worrisome trait: She has the tendency to be excited to immediate action. Her sense of judgment fluctuates.” (Sidebar of my own: Okay…we all know Angie is very smart. Smarter than the yucks in the media, which is why they’re always riding her ass for outsmarting them at a game they all went to college to learn and that Angie learned from the School of Drama Queen Sperm Donors. Jealousy is so unbecoming, Bonnie. The rest of that analysis is no doubt based on Star telling the guy what to say!)

* Sidebar: The woman who raised Pax. According to the Star good old Tuyen, who earns a measley $20 a year and no doubt gladly took the same from Star for her unbiased account of Pax’s adoption…I digressed…anyhoo…she cares for many children at the orphanage, but she “doted” on Pax since he was an infant. She says, “Everyone of them is like my own child. But Sang was special. I feel so sad everytime anyone mentions his name.” (Sidebar of my own: But…she perked up plenty when she saw that $20 in the Star rep’s hand!) Tuyen also says, “We are glad that he’s adopted.” and offer’s Angie some “fool-proof” advice - “He needs patience and understanding. Just like any other little boy.” (Sidebar of my own: No offense, Bonnie, but I think you need to get a $5 refund from Tuyen…I coulda fcukin’ told you this!”)

* Photo caption: God bless Bonnie Fuller…b#tch just doesn’t know when to quit. According to the founder of an adoption agency…uh, one that Angie DIDN’T USE, “There are ways in which children can be introduced gently, but that doesn’t seem to have been taken into account this time.” (Sidebar: I must be missing something. I thought Angie was presented to Pax very politely by the orphanage director. I don’t recall anyone saying that she was introduced as, “Yo, yo…Drop your glasses, shake your asses, Face screwed up like you having hot flashes…Yo, Sang…Uh…sorry dude…yo’ name is Pax now. Boy…get yo’ ass ovah here! Come meet yo’ new mama! Yo, yo, yo…check this sh#t out! This b#tch is HAWT! Boy…she so damn fine, she gonna make yo’ ass wish you was still young enough to breast feed!” But…like I said…maybe I missed that quote among the 50,000 news stories…)