OlderJon Stewart Jokes About Angelina Jolie
During one of his monologues, host Jon Stewart poked fun of pregnant Angelina Jolie.
He said, “Earlier, I mentioned there were two very famous quite pregnant actresses here tonight. Actually, I was incorrect. I’ve become aware that there’s a third. Jessica Alba is pregnant, Cate Blanchett is pregnant and Nicole Kidman is pregnant.” (Nic wasn’t in her seat, so they flashed a still image of her. She was there was on the merlot carpet, though.)
Continuing his joke, Jon gave out an imaginary Oscar: “The baby goes to…. (drumroll) Angelina Jolie. On my god, Angelina Jolie. I’m just stunned. It goes to Angelina Jolie. That’s terrific. Obviously Angelina couldn’t be with us tonight–it’s tough to get 17 babysitters on Oscars night. I’ll accept this baby on her behalf.”
Watch the video of Jon Stewart joking about Angelina Jolie here.
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Posted to: Angelina Jolie, Jon Stewart, Oscars 2008
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Fefe,
Yeah at night, I stand alot and move around…however, during day, I mostly sit on my a ss…shuffling papers, on the phone, entering data and if the work takes me to inspections or other conferences I stand and go and walkaround taking notes or I sit down again…hahah…I do enjoy being busy and doing the things I enjoy for a living…It’s almost and maybe it is as great as being “in love”…I think.
Yeah George Mason was 2 years ago…
Did I read you are a twin? Identical or fraternal? Are you best friends?
I don’t have siblings…and probably why I can get on with things independently of others without being needed…I hate bother others and very private…not stand-offish or stuck-up…I know who with and where I want to be and that doesn’t necessarily include an entire posse…hahah…I roll alone or one on one mostly…hahah…tell some more about yourself: favorites; music, color, complexion, high maintenance, hahah…etc…anything…I just want an image for my mind, okay…I am not trying to I D you for a line-up…hahah.
((((((((((NEWS ALERT)))))))) From your friendly neighborhood Bampzsville resident.
* all messages below are fictional, not real, but if you find them appear in your local supermarket headlines tabloids, please do not panic…just ignore ignore ignore* disclosure of liability. :)
CLOSER TO HOME-RUMOR:
President Bush refused to admit there is a Recession in the USA- but did blamed Angelina, because she’s now pregnant and not making any more movie for a year, causes unemployment for many people in the entertainment industry.
A LITTLE BIT FAR FETCH RUMORS…. BUT WTH, WHY NO?
Snow storm in the midwest- blamed Angelina, because of her cool sexiness causes the water freezes and the wind blows.
REALLY FAR OUT THERE RUMOR
Earth Quake in Asia- blame Angelina, because of her hotness, causes the earth to shake.
FINALLY…A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY RUMOR
Recent sitting of UFO in Texas, having NASA to believe the message received from the international space center : ” We come in peace, please release our GODDESS ANGELINA JOLIE….”
Felinelilly @ 02/28/2008 at 1:09 pm
Hi Yes. :D
How’s it going? Have a good evening / night. It’s 6 pm in England, right? :)
___________________________
Its all good :) Thank :D You
Its 6:41 pm now!
A Reason to Stay in Iraq
We have finally reached a point where humanitarian assistance, from us and others, can have an impact.
By Angelina Jolie
Thursday, February 28, 2008; 1:15 PM
The request is familiar to American ears: “Bring them home.”
But in Iraq, where I’ve just met with American and Iraqi leaders, the phrase carries a different meaning. It does not refer to the departure of U.S. troops, but to the return of the millions of innocent Iraqis who have been driven out of their homes and, in many cases, out of the country.
In the six months since my previous visit to Iraq with United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, this humanitarian crisis has not improved. However, during the last week, the United States, UNHCR and the Iraqi government have begun to work together in new and important ways.
We still don’t know exactly how many Iraqis have fled their homes, where they’ve all gone, or how they’re managing to survive. Here is what we do know: More than 2 million people are refugees inside their own country — without homes, jobs and, to a terrible degree, without medicine, food or clean water. Ethnic cleansing and other acts of unspeakable violence have driven them into a vast and very dangerous no-man’s land. Many of the survivors huddle in mosques, in abandoned buildings with no electricity, in tents or in one-room huts made of straw and mud. Fifty-eight percent of these internally displaced people are younger than 12 years old.
An additional 2.5 million Iraqis have sought refuge outside Iraq, mainly in Syria and Jordan. But those host countries have reached their limits. Overwhelmed by the refugees they already have, these countries have essentially closed their borders until the international community provides support.
I’m not a security expert, but it doesn’t take one to see that Syria and Jordan are carrying an unsustainable burden. They have been excellent hosts, but we can’t expect them to care for millions of poor Iraqis indefinitely and without assistance from the U.S. or others. One-sixth of Jordan’s population today is Iraqi refugees. The large burden is already causing tension internally.
The Iraqi families I’ve met on my trips to the region are proud and resilient. They don’t want anything from us other than the chance to return to their homes — or, where those homes have been bombed to the ground or occupied by squatters, to build new ones and get back to their lives. One thing is certain: It will be quite a while before Iraq is ready to absorb more than 4 million refugees and displaced people. But it is not too early to start working on solutions. And last week, there were signs of progress.
In Baghdad, I spoke with Army Gen. David Petraeus about UNHCR’s need for security information and protection for its staff as they re-enter Iraq, and I am pleased that he has now offered that support. General Petraeus also told me he would support new efforts to address the humanitarian crisis “to the maximum extent possible” — which leaves me hopeful that more progress can be made.
UNHCR is certainly committed to that. Last week while in Iraq, High Commissioner António Guterres pledged to increase UNHCR’s presence there and to work closely with the Iraqi government, both in assessing the conditions required for return and in providing humanitarian relief.
During my trip I also met with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who has announced the creation of a new committee to oversee issues related to internally displaced people, and a pledge of $40 million to support the effort.
continue…..
My visit left me even more deeply convinced that we not only have a moral obligation to help displaced Iraqi families, but also a serious, long-term, national security interest in ending this crisis.
It is reminiscent of six years ago, before 9/11, when I visited Afghan refugees in Pakistan refugee camps. Many were desperate and angry, and felt abandoned long after the fight against the Soviet occupation had ended. Camps like these are cauldrons — breeding grounds for rage, the repercussions of which we are seeing today.
Today’s humanitarian crisis in Iraq — and the potential consequences for our national security — are greater still. Can the United States afford to gamble that 4 million or more poor and displaced people, in the heart of Middle East, won’t explode in violent desperation, sending the whole region into further disorder?
What we cannot afford, in my view, is to squander the progress that has been made. In fact, we should step up our financial and material assistance. UNHCR has appealed for $261 million this year to provide for refugees and internally displaced persons. That is not a small amount of money — but it is less than the U.S. spends each day to fight the war in Iraq. I would like to call on each of the presidential candidates and congressional leaders to announce a comprehensive refugee plan with a specific timeline and budget as part of their Iraq strategy.
As for the question of whether the surge is working, I can only state what I witnessed: U.N. staff and those of non-governmental organizations seem to feel they have the right set of circumstances to attempt to scale up their programs. And when I asked the troops if they wanted to go home as soon as possible, they said that they miss home but feel invested in Iraq. They have lost many friends and want to be a part of the humanitarian progress they now feel is possible.
It seems to me that now is the moment to address the humanitarian side of this situation. Without the right support, we could miss an opportunity to do some of the good we always stated we intended to do.
Angelina Jolie, an actor, is a UNHCR goodwill ambassador.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/27/AR2008022702217_pf.html
JARED, WE NEED A NEW THREAD WITH THIS.
By Angelina Jolie
Thursday, February 28, 2008; 1:15 PM
A Reason to Stay in Iraq
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/02/27/AR2008022702217_pf.html
From The Washington Post. A well writtemn oped by Angelina:
A Reason to Stay in Iraq
We have finally reached a point where humanitarian assistance, from us and others, can have an impact.
By Angelina Jolie
Thursday, February 28, 2008; 1:15 PM
The request is familiar to American ears: “Bring them home.”
But in Iraq, where I’ve just met with American and Iraqi leaders, the phrase carries a different meaning. It does not refer to the departure of U.S. troops, but to the return of the millions of innocent Iraqis who have been driven out of their homes and, in many cases, out of the country.
In the six months since my previous visit to Iraq with United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, this humanitarian crisis has not improved. However, during the last week, the United States, UNHCR and the Iraqi government have begun to work together in new and important ways.
We still don’t know exactly how many Iraqis have fled their homes, where they’ve all gone, or how they’re managing to survive. Here is what we do know: More than 2 million people are refugees inside their own country — without homes, jobs and, to a terrible degree, without medicine, food or clean water. Ethnic cleansing and other acts of unspeakable violence have driven them into a vast and very dangerous no-man’s land. Many of the survivors huddle in mosques, in abandoned buildings with no electricity, in tents or in one-room huts made of straw and mud. Fifty-eight percent of these internally displaced people are younger than 12 years old.
An additional 2.5 million Iraqis have sought refuge outside Iraq, mainly in Syria and Jordan. But those host countries have reached their limits. Overwhelmed by the refugees they already have, these countries have essentially closed their borders until the international community provides support.
I’m not a security expert, but it doesn’t take one to see that Syria and Jordan are carrying an unsustainable burden. They have been excellent hosts, but we can’t expect them to care for millions of poor Iraqis indefinitely and without assistance from the U.S. or others. One-sixth of Jordan’s population today is Iraqi refugees. The large burden is already causing tension internally.
The Iraqi families I’ve met on my trips to the region are proud and resilient. They don’t want anything from us other than the chance to return to their homes — or, where those homes have been bombed to the ground or occupied by squatters, to build new ones and get back to their lives. One thing is certain: It will be quite a while before Iraq is ready to absorb more than 4 million refugees and displaced people. But it is not too early to start working on solutions. And last week, there were signs of progress.
In Baghdad, I spoke with Army Gen. David Petraeus about UNHCR’s need for security information and protection for its staff as they re-enter Iraq, and I am pleased that he has now offered that support. General Petraeus also told me he would support new efforts to address the humanitarian crisis “to the maximum extent possible” — which leaves me hopeful that more progress can be made.
UNHCR is certainly committed to that. Last week while in Iraq, High Commissioner António Guterres pledged to increase UNHCR’s presence there and to work closely with the Iraqi government, both in assessing the conditions required for return and in providing humanitarian relief.
During my trip I also met with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who has announced the creation of a new committee to oversee issues related to internally displaced people, and a pledge of $40 million to support the effort.
My visit left me even more deeply convinced that we not only have a moral obligation to help displaced Iraqi families, but also a serious, long-term, national security interest in ending this crisis.
It is reminiscent of six years ago, before 9/11, when I visited Afghan refugees in Pakistan refugee camps. Many were desperate and angry, and felt abandoned long after the fight against the Soviet occupation had ended. Camps like these are cauldrons — breeding grounds for rage, the repercussions of which we are seeing today.
Today’s humanitarian crisis in Iraq — and the potential consequences for our national security — are greater still. Can the United States afford to gamble that 4 million or more poor and displaced people, in the heart of Middle East, won’t explode in violent desperation, sending the whole region into further disorder?
What we cannot afford, in my view, is to squander the progress that has been made. In fact, we should step up our financial and material assistance. UNHCR has appealed for $261 million this year to provide for refugees and internally displaced persons. That is not a small amount of money — but it is less than the U.S. spends each day to fight the war in Iraq. I would like to call on each of the presidential candidates and congressional leaders to announce a comprehensive refugee plan with a specific timeline and budget as part of their Iraq strategy.
As for the question of whether the surge is working, I can only state what I witnessed: U.N. staff and those of non-governmental organizations seem to feel they have the right set of circumstances to attempt to scale up their programs. And when I asked the troops if they wanted to go home as soon as possible, they said that they miss home but feel invested in Iraq. They have lost many friends and want to be a part of the humanitarian progress they now feel is possible.
It seems to me that now is the moment to address the humanitarian side of this situation. Without the right support, we could miss an opportunity to do some of the good we always stated we intended to do.
Angelina Jolie, an actor, is a UNHCR goodwill ambassador.
Cook,
Yes, I’m a twin. Definitely fraternal, as for being best friends, I guess…lol,twin relationships can be complicated. But we do have that twin “ESP” thing. It’s pretty cool. But I’m very independent.
Favorite music? Let’s see..some of everything, from Fleetwood Mac to French hip hop..I don’t really have any favorites, but I don’t really like country, except for a couple of songs here and there, and no heavy metal.
Color? Blue
I’ve said it before, I have dark brown hair and light brown eyes, shy with people I don’t know until I get to know them. And no, I’m not high maintenance, lol. Don’t really like material things.
That was a balanced article.
BRAVO ANGELINA!…Thanks Lady G for providing that piece from Commissioner Angelina Jolie…Scale back the aggression and advanced the replacement and peacekeeping of the displaced…BRAVO!
Thanx for the article Guys!
OMG…here I m worrying about f*cking Ted C and people are writing in the gossip trash press about the made-up dumbazz ’showdown that wasn’t’ with the TV sitcom hag, and here once again, Angelina reminds us and proves how much BETTER she is than ALL of us, in keeping her priorities straight. She is simply amazing.
Wow! Thanks for Angie’s article on Iraq. This should be every day news, not some made up joke of an article by a spurned gossip columnist. New thread, please Jared.
OMG…here I am worrying about stuipd f*cking Ted C and ABC’s Oscar revenge against Angelina, not to mention the ragloid editors writing in the gossip trash press about the made-up dumbazz ’showdown that wasn’t’ with the TV sitcom hag, and here once again, Angelina reminds us and proves how much BETTER she is than ALL of us, in keeping her priorities straight. She is simply amazing.
# 1770 OMG @ 02/28/2008 at 12:23 pm LAWD HAMMERSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By hellomagazine.com hellomagazine.com - Wednesday, February 27 01:57 pm
According to reports, Angelina sees having her baby in France as a way to honour her late mother, French-Canadian actress Marcheline Bertrand, who passed away last year.
“Giving birth in France will give her a certain feeling of peace about her mother’s death,” says the source, who adds: “All of the kids love it there. It’s a good place for them to be.”
“Angelina is proud of her French roots and wants her latest addition to be born and raised there,” confirms a pal.
+++++++++++++++
According to this criteria - honoring her mother’s French ancestry - Angie could easily give birth in their house in the FRENCH QUARTER OF NEW ORLEANS. Jiminy…these tabs are really reaching to come up with new material.
#1802 estelle
——————
You made my day with your post!! It was PRICELESS!!
# 1804 Lady G @ 02/28/2008 at 1:43 pm
Thank you Lady G for Angie’s Iraq article. She is such an inspirational spirit and a decent human being.
Peace
# 1771 piper, with a low @ 02/28/2008 at 12:24 pm
# 1752 Passing Through @ 02/28/2008 at 11:11 am
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Re: Jesse and Angie… the gold has already aired. ABC claims that they have the full episodes on their website; I’m sure if it’s worth your while, but the Feb 15th episode was the episode when they finally came face-to-face.
++++++++++++++
Hey Piper - thanks for the heads up. Watching online is probably the way to go. I don’t have Tivo and can’t remember the last time I used my VCR, so who knows if I can still remember how to program it anyway.
# 1779 Mondo Bongo! @ 02/28/2008 at 12:40 pm
Off Off Topic!!!!!!!!!!
Amy Winehouse is coming out with her own line of Cosmetics!
ROTFLMAO.. thanks Amy I needed that.. :lol:
++++++++++++++
She’s going to have clothes, too. Let’s all hope they wash the crack smoke from them before putting them in stores.
Fefe,
Hey, blue is my favorite color too, and I Iike dark brown hair and light eyes, and Iove low maintenance women…hahah…honestly, you’re gonna have to date me forever or marry me…which?…’cause it’s gotta be one or the other…nothing else will do…
Truth be told…I went to sleep with you on my mind and I was so stiff, it was (hard) to turn over…hahah…just a little true humor for your day…I want you to pick the spot we’re meeting tomorrow, okay?
I read this article twice at jjb’s and I can’t tell you how proud I am to be a JP fan!!!
Thanks Lady G for posting it here! All I can say is ….ABC, now what the cr@p do you say ehhhh??? This is what ABC should have printed NOT that BS full of lies about a person who is doing her best to help others in every which way…
Jared, please give us a new thread .
hi beatiful people!!
the article is very well written and describes clearly the situation there. She knows what she is talking about. Love this woman!!, she cares about important things (not like a preOscar party or stupid things like that…)
Thanks ladies for posting the articles…..Bravo to Angelina.
Angie, you rock. You are the best.
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