Mark Cornelsen: T.R. Knight’s New Boyfriend

I grew up with Mark and I am so proud of him. I am happy to see him in a healthy relationship and they look so cute together. and you guys are all crazy obsessing over his age. We were born on exactly the same day and he is not 18. Not to mention his maturity level is way beyond his years, it has always been. And his eyes are perfect. No WONK eye at all. Mark is so gorgeous and if you were to know him in real life you would find him a thousand times more attractive. Mark, I’m stoked for you. Way to go.

he is, in fact, quite young…and I met him a few weeks ago (his roommate is a friend of mine). lemme tell you: he is just as cute/adorable in person!! but, above all that stuff is who he is and what he has accomplished…especially at such a young age. it’s people like him who inspire others to do good things.

IN RESPONSE TO #67: i know nothing of these “circumstances” that you seem to be so wrapped up in…but do you have a f*cking life?!?!? Are you seriously sitting at home and “discussing” all this stuff with your “friends”?!?!? Do you NOT have a job?? Better yet: do you NOT have a LIFE OF YOUR OWN?!?!? You spend all your time pondering/questioning other people’s lives??
Yes, I sort of contradict myself by being on this site and typing up this response…but I just happened to stumble upon this site after having met Mark…and i am by no means spending precious moments of my life enthralled by someone else’s life. Do us a favor and GET A LIFE.

okay I was the problem. I love him so much. Idid not give him the attention in the important years. Yes, I am a Christian. I am sorry for the time I did not listen to you mark. Please forgive my ignorance. I am more open today than you know. Ijust want dialogue. Dad

To dwayne wolfe and yes I am marks dad. The Christian part means that I am a Christ follower. It does’nt mean that I get it all right. Christ is the example of unconditional love. I’m trying to do that with mark. I too believe that we will have dialogue some day on his terms. There is no doubt that mark is an amazing person . He always has been. As far as he be tossed out and not given much……. there are always two sides to every story. As a parent with other children , you learn to die on certain hills, not all of them. Thank you for your comments.God has given me this opportunity to grow and I know I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me Phil. 4:13 yours truly

Mr Cornelsen.

I’ve read your comments, and I wanted to further communicate with you in regards to this matter, as there a few more things that I wanted to say to you.

I’m hearing what you say, but there are other ways that we, as gay members of society see situations like this that you need to be exposed to that I don’t hink you see..

One, in regards to being a parent… I believe that all parents feel they do the best they can with their children… by keeping a roof over their heads, food on the table, and in trying to give them the finer things n life… (materialistic or other). Children are a parent’s greatest joy. And you know sir, we as children know that… we really do. And becasue we do know that, we are afraid to disappoint out parents by doing something that they will look badly at us for, or something that will change how they feel towards us.

As I’m sure you realize, and have experienced in your life at one time or another with your own parents, is a simple phrase that EVERY child has heard for EVERY parent… “you can come to me with anything”. We as children truly believe that… To us, we know that “Mom and Dad” will not forsake us becasue they love us regardless of what we tell them. “Mom and Dad” will understand because that’s who they are to us… “Mom and Dad”.. right?…

Imagine if you will then– knowing that you inevidably uttered that phrase to your son at some point in his life— as mine had done, how “bare naked” and “stripped down to nothing” he felt knowing that he was going to be coming to you with the one thing that would make him feel the most vulnerable… Do you know what that’s like? It’s like walking into a crowded ampitheater of over 250,000 people who are all looking at you with high-powered binoculars… only to discover that you are walking around with 35 to 40 feet of soiled toilet paper stuck to the backside of your britches.. Except for one thing… that it’s TEN TIMES worse… because you are coming to the two people who are the most important people in your life… afraid to disappoint them, afraid that they’ll hate you, and hoping that the phrase “you can come to me with anything” will kick in full-force at that moment and you will throw your arms around us… cradling us like you did when we were infants, telling us that everything will be all right, and that you love us anyway…

Can you understand this, Mr. Cornelsen?

And as far as there being anotherside to the story of “tossing him out”… I’m quite certain that the implied was not that you took Mark by the scruff of the collar and physically THREW him into the street. But what you have to understand is that there is more than one way to exempt a child from your life…. making him feel outcast and isolated. If a child feels as though they have dissapointed their parents, family, and community, they feel isolated— especially if this disapproval was vocalized. We feel shocked, upset, embarrassed, and a hundred other emotions all at the same time. In turn, it is only human nature to seek a comfort zone elsewhere… much like a “runt puppy” would do when he is continuously attacked and shoved off by his sibblings surrounding a food dish. This is what Mark did when he turned to friends— and it’s what I did when I went into isolation 20 years ago… living in my car in the cold of the winter. We sought comfort zones where we found acceptance without ridiclule..

Mark moving to California to persue college and a new life, and me doing the same through struggle in a different day and age… either way you look at it, we were in one in the same in this regard, and we weren’t going to look back to our family regardless of what happened to us— becasue we were left the feeling that we dissapointed the two people that told us that “we could tell them anything” and it was better to succeed or fail on our own, rather than accept help from our family who felt less of us than they had previously.

You know, sir, you are tell me here on this post how much you love Mark, and how you agree that he is amazing and that he had always been. That’s great, but if I may give you some advice, please, don’t tell me… tell him. Don’t make the same mistakes my parents made with me… I’ve spent a lifetime trying to make my parents proud of me… writing cover stories for magazines, doing well in my job, buying a new house… etc… etc… , only to realize that no matter what I did, “son, we’re proud of you” is the one thing that at 39 years old, I have as of yet to ever hear from them…

Sure, like you and your wife, you have an “open door policy” where you’ll accept Mark at any time, but this is where you could be waiting a lifetime. It’s not about “leaving the door open for him”, it’s about YOU going to HIM, on HIS turf.. where he feels comfortable, and trying to reconcile form there. You where San Francisco is, right? Go to him, instead… you’ll be the better for it.

I hope this helps you

Mr. Cornelsen,

“Red neck carpernters from Fernadale”…. hilarious!!! It makes me laugh; because people— from both sides of the fence—- can be stereotypical. I am actually a country bumpking myself, who works as a cabinetmaker by trade, and as a writer as a sideline. In fact my actress friend from Toronto called me today and thanked me for mentioning in the cover story I had written for her, about being a script supervisor for the film industry, as she can use that to her advantage with the Port Authority to work in Chicago…. so tonight, I’m in a good mood!

And as far as small town living, and stereotyping one’s way of living… if you think you are small town.. I’ve something to tell you of me. For me, home is a 36 foot Park Model camping trailer which is deep in the woods on the backside of a mountain in central Pennsylvania. I carry water from about 5 miles away in the winter (water is shut off here in winter) to supply my trailer’s holding tank so I can cook, shower, wash my clothes, etc…. I don’t drive a new sporty car… in fact, I wouldn’t trade my 1991 Blazer that I beat through the woods for the finest Rolls Royce in th world.

As far as clothes.. I’m not an Armani person… I’d rather wear my Levi’s, t-shirts, workboots, and ballcaps… And you know, that’s me—- a far cry from what one may typically expect from the average homosexual man. So you see, we can all get the wrong idea about a person, and judge accordingly without knowing all there is to know about people and situations. That’s the weekness we all face as humans— judging before “know”. Through it, we live and learn.

For me, church was always a country one… much like you would remember from “Little House on the Prairie”…. where people were simple and expectations were few. I was raised Methodist, although today— when I go at all, I prefer the non-denominational, as I feel if one is to believe in God, then all groups should be able to worship in the manner they see fit without feeling one religous belief is correct over another.

As far as approaching Mark— you’re his father, you do what you feel is best for you— and handle it in any way you wish. All I am saying is that sometimes it’s not the best decision to “wait until later”, as time has a way of creating greater distance in uncomfortable situations. Sometimes the best approach comes head on and quickly… you know? I don’t know Mark, and I do not know if he is indeed self-centered or not… but either way, I’m sure that the distance is something that he thinks about, and I’m sure it bothers him somewhat— how could it not?

And as for meeting TR? If Mark is indeed self-centered with anything, then TR would be who/what he would be exercising that feeling in regards to. It’s simple… it’s a new relationship…with a remarkable man. That’s an incredible responsibility for such a young man as Mark to deal with. You said it yourself…. Mark is 19. And although this classifies him as an adult, he truly hasn’t lived yet… and his life is just beginning. He needs to test his wings— I did— you did— and now, it’s his turn… his time. Once he lives a little… and once you have the opportunity to talk, I’m sure that things will iron themselves out— regardless of the long-term outcome for him and TR Knight. Just know, that personally— althoug you may disagree with me on this point, TR is good for him… because he’s giving Mark a positive tole model to follow. Do you understand?

“Jerks of my past?”— as you’ve stated. Sure, there were many— not just how my family was back in ‘87… but through those life experiences, I’ve matured and grown into the man I am today—- they call that the “school of hard knocks”…. haha. And sometimes, for some people, that is greatest teacher. For me, it taught me survival…

Would I be able to live in the woods and carry water in the winter otherwise? hahahaha.

Be well,

Dwayne

Nellie… you’re right. There are two sides to every story, and yes, the Cornelsen’s seem like very pleasant people. In fact, I personally had a lovely conversation with Mrs. Cornelsen— (Mark’s mother) over the telephone yesterday. She’s a very nice lady… and in fact, I shared with her my experiences of “coming out” with my parents, and she stated to me ‘God works in mysterious ways.. I kept praying for someone to come into our lives to help us with trying to get through to Mark”. And you know, it made me feel good to talk with her, becasue it made me remember how things were with me and my parents over twenty years ago when coming out was even harder than it is today.

Mark needs to realize just how fortunate he is actually— he DOES have a set of parents who love him very much, and all they want to do is make amends and have a dialogue with him. He IS rejecting them btw… as he is his entire family… which has been confirmed and is not just a mere rumor here on THIS post or OTHERWISE, just as he has rejected every single email I have ever sent him— whether it be this situation, or something entirely different. Aparrently, that’s the way he wants to be about it right now… and if so, too bad for him.

But you know something? I’ve got news for Mark… I have every intention of continuing my conversations and contact with his parents— even if he doesn’t, because they are really nice people who only wish to understand this situation— and since I’ve lived it, I’ll be more than happy to help them through this… even though their own son is refusing to do so.

And as gay man myself, having been treated very nicely— AND QUITE RESPECTFULLY I MIGHT ADD, by his family—- I will continue my mission to help assure that dialogue of some kind occurs, because that is what a good person does for good people!

It is amazing though… how I can see this wonderful family falling apart from so far away, and know the pain that’s on both sides… It hurts me too you know… I mean, I spilled my guts to a kid I didn’t even know— just wanting to help him. Imagine how it was for me to tell him about how I once lived in my car— sustaining myself on ketchup and crackers, homeless at 18, AFRAID to come out– no one to trust or talk to… dwindling down to 90 pounds… Something, huh?

No imagine how much an ASS if felt like after telling him all that only to get “no response” in return? I’m sorry, but what kind of person does that?? A person WHO DOESN’T CARE, that’s who. That kid? Oh yeah, it was Mark Cornelsen… believe it or not.. I’ve got my proof. I also have the newly established friendship with his parents too… and you know, after “bearing my all” to him like that, I have to admit that only a self-centered individual would reject response from the type of letter I’d sent.

If any of you reading this post would like to se that letter, just let me know. Contact me with your email address, and I will be more than happy to send it your way. You be the judge of that situation..

Alot more than meets the eye?? Oh yeah… there’s a world of information yet to be discovered in this situation. I’m sure of that.

I for one find all of this to be rather ridiculous. As a member of Mark’s family it hurts to see the lies and rumors around the internet. Regardless if it is the internet or not, it hurts to see our family made out to be some kind of crazy bunch of Jesus freaks, when that is extremely far from the truth.

It hurts even more to be Mark’s LESBIAN cousin and to have little to no relationship with him. It hurts to know that I have made attempts to talk to him and contact him and have little to no response back. Now you would think that we’d be allies in this sort of situation considering we’re both on the same team, right? Well that obviously isn’t the case. I’m going to go ahead and assume the reasoning is for the mere fact that I am part of this family he holds this immense grudge against.

The fact of the matter is everything that went down in the beginning was not rainbows and unicorns and bubblegum, but the family has grown through not only the experience of Mark coming out, but from also the experience of me coming out (I am an older cousin and came out after Mark). Yea, it’s rough for them to be face to face with an issue that they felt very strong in their hearts about. It’s really difficult when you test your beliefs and you’re actually faced with a real life situation like this. It’s scary and the initial reaction makes people do and say a lot of stupid things, but people learn with time.

The family as a whole is accepting of me and my sexuality and my relationship and I’m 100% certain that they would do the same for Mark. Hell, they even offered my girlfriend a place to stay if she came and visited in Washington. All they want is a chance, an opportunity to make things better, but he won’t even give them the time of day.

Mr. Cornelsen—

I wish to thank you for a wonderful and enlightening telephone conversation this evening. I really appreciated having the opportunity to see your views on things. You truly are a very caring individual, and it is a shame that your son Mark, is missing out on that. I only wish that now, having had our conversation, that someone as kind and lighthearted as you was around 20 years ago for me— when I came out. At least then, I would have felt that I would have had someone worthwhile to talk to… a different insight, and a different viewpoint.

It’s true, you and I aren’t the same, but I am coming to discover that in being “accepted” one has to be willing to see multiple views of situations— this includes the viewpoints of you and your family. Afterall, if we are to have acceptance in this world, then we have to be open to objective and contrasting viewpoints—- and the only way to do that is to have an— as you say, “open dialogue”. Thank you again for a wonderfula nd educating conversation, and I certainly hope you get enough sleep for performing well at your job tomorrow.

And oh… one more thing… not to bring the aspect of “GOD” into the discussion… but I’m thanking him now for the the fact that I have free Nationwide long distance— as did you realize we talked for an hour and a half? LOL!

I hope my information helped you this evening, and reagrds to you and your family.

Take care,

Dwayne

Something isn’t right about this Mark Cornelsen. He doesn’t look like a kid who was abused by his parents to me. I think he lied to get himself someplace. I think the authorities should check his background.

dear bugged just let it go. I am trying my hardest to be honest and not drive a wedge between mark and I. I do not want anyone to be blamed for stuff we can all be forgiven for. Believe me I have said enough dumb things to hurt my family to last a lifetime.