Angelina Jolie is a Grand Hotel Girl

Passing Through @ 05/23/2008 at 3:56 pm
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This is coming from STAR magazine? LMAO! The same STAR that said that Brad and Angelina had, indeed, gotten married. And when that turned out to NOT be true, they tried to bribe a clergyman to say it was true. That story got the reporter fired.

That STAR magazine?

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Golly, O2…surely you’re not trying to say that Star would lie about Brad having lunch with Juliette Lewis, are ya? Cuz, come on…you KNOW they’ve learned their lesson…why they barely lied at all in this week’s magazine…which I just happened to take notes from…

For instance…

Surely you don’t think Candace & Co. are lying when they say that Angie lied at the KFP press con when she told a reporter that she and Brad share power equally in their relationship? Because the Star, who we can believe above all other media outlets, says that Angie has banned Jane Pitt from coming to France for the birth of the twins because she’s mad at Jane because Jane is still good friends with X?

Or how about when Star says Angie only wants her “nearest and dearest” present for the birth - Jamie, Mariane Pearl and what’s-his-face….you know…the baby daddy….

I really don’t think the Star would make up quotes like ths from Angie’s friends, “Angelina studies Brad’s family like they are specimen’s from another planet.”

I just know that Star is telling the truth when they say Angie keeping Jane away from her is the real reason she gave won’t give out the real delivery date and lied to Brad’s family and told them of August 19. Apparently she feels the same about Dustin Hoffman as she does about Jane…since Dustin is the one who said her due date is August 19. But…that’s not a lie..is it?

And I highly doubt Star would lie when they claim that the ubiquitous “insider” told them that the due date is really a month earlier! Or when they say that Angie refuses to tell Jane because she has “loose lips” and will tell all her friends. I mean, come on…it’s not like Jane hasn’t spent the last 20 years of Brad’s life telling his business all over southern Missouri…and calling Star with exclusives and using a voice-changing device on the phone and identifying herself as a “close family friend”. We all know that’s totally Jane who’s spilt the beans all these years! Mothers. You just can’t trust them to not rat you and your spouse out to tall the neighbors.

The funny thing is that according to Star Jane just cannot understand why Angie is being “so selfish” and refusing to let her come to France for the births. That Angie claims the births are a private family matter and that Jane has no reason to be IN the delivery room. Yes, that’s right…Jane wants to be IN the delivery room with Angie and Brad. After all, it’s bad enough that Jane had to miss Shiloh’s birth because Angie selfishly made Brad go to Namibia…where apparently the Pitts were constitutionally banned from appearing until exactly 6 days post-birth…and Jane does NOT want that crap happening again! But…in my heart of hearts…I KNOW STAR ISN’T LYING TO ME, DAMMIT!

Nor would Star be so cruel as to lie when they say that Angie’s biggest problem with Jane - aside from Jane’s loose lips & her blog, natch - is that Angie thinks Jane is trying to tell her how to raise her children! Can you just imagine the gall of Brad’s mother? Why, GD-it! The woman has no experience at mothering! Let alone counseling or advice giving! It’s not like she’s got a degree it in it, for God’s sake! What? She does? Really?

The Star “insider source” is also truthful when they say, “Like ANY grandmother, Jane will make comments about how the kids act or how they’re dressed. They’re not meant as judgements, but Angie thinks she’s questioning her mothering skills!” Nah…the Star’s not lying about that because it’s not like Angie would EVAH ask other people - nearly total strangers - for parenting advice. YOu know…like…say…George Lucas at a post move premiere party with 800 other guests looking on and taking pictures…and reporters taking notes… I just can’t imagine she’d every do something like that…so of course the Star is telling the truth!

I’m also positive Star would NEVER tell tall tales about Brad and Angie’s constant “headbutting”. Especially not about their fighting putting Brad in a “tough spot” and ultimately getting Brad to agree to tell his family not to come to France. Nor would they make Jane so diabolical that even though she knows Angie doesn’t like her, she’s already made plans to go to France - without Brad & Angie’s knowledge. One thing that confuses me, though, is that Star doesn’t make it clear where the Pitts will be staying once they arrive at the place they’re not wanted.

Since Star OBVIOUSLY wouldn’t lie about any of these other things, I doubt they’d like when they say that Angie has a “backup plan” to circumvent Jane should she show up in France anyway. Star says that Angie had a big epiphany when deciding to stay at Paul Allen’s villa - because there are 10 bedrooms, should Jane show her unwanted mug in France…she won’t have to see much of her because the joint is so big! Star’s inside source was NOT lying when they said, “They’ll have their own wing, so she’ll have to interact with them as little as possible. There’s plenty of space where they can hang out - away from Angie.” That’s not a complete lie cuz that villa is humongo and so what if the Pitts happen to be stuck off in a wing 2 miles away? It’s just a coincidence. It’s not fictional!

Oh yeah…one last thing the Star wouldn’t lie about: The ring that Brad’s been wearing lately. According to them it’s a ring that ANGIE DESIGNED AND HAD MADE…and when she gave it to him Brad immediately put the ring on his right hand! Tres bullshiteque! Oui? Why his right hand you say? Well…cuz as you pointed out the Star DID lie about the wedding that wasn’t…BUT…this time they’re telling the truth because you see even though they didn’t tie the knot officially…in some European countries they wear their wedding rings…you got it…ON THEIR RIGHT HANDS! And to further emphasize that they’re NOT LYING…the Star’s trusty little “inside source” says, “They’re NOT married but they DO call each other husband and wife. The ring is a SYMBOL of their union.”