OlderJennifer & John’s Exit Strategy
Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer attempt a stealthy exit form the Beverly Hills Hotel by driving out the entrance driveway on Saturday.
Later in the evening, Mayer had a few thoughts and scribbled them down on his blog:
“Go back into the annals of beloved ’80s films, and you’d be hard pressed to find a movie closer to the hearts of thirty-somethings than The Goonies. I’ll spare you the synopsis, as you most likely already know it, but if you don’t, no need to worry - you’ve seen 20 other movies like it in its time. The template: nerdy but affable underdog(s) suffer unrelenting ridicule by jocks in varsity letter jackets but ultimately have their comeuppance, usually stealing a smoking hot girlfriend or two in the process.
In the case of The Goonies, a band of awkward, socially outcast kids set off to find a buried treasure, narrowly averting almost certain death and outrunning, among others, a popular high school jock named Troy. Troy is one of the classic cinematic archetypes of the 1980s; the jock. He’s good looking, rocks a period-relative badass Mustang convertible, and he’s a total prick. All we can do from the moment Troy enters the frame is to wait with baited breath to see Troy lose and the Goonies win.
And in that end, back in 1985 when the underdogs had their day, (and their bag of jewels), and the final credits rolled and we called our parents for a ride home, we realized something fantastic: It’s true, we weren’t Troy. But for the first time, thanks to The Goonies, we no longer wanted to be Troy. It was okay to be us, thank you very much.
Cut to present day.
What happened to the better part of a generation that once walked out of their local theater rooting for the Mikeys and Chunks and Datas of the world? They’ve turned into Troys. Troys who can’t accept the differences in others and condemn the things they don’t understand. Finger-pointing, s—-talking Troys.
Ask yourself: with whom do you identify more these days, Troy or the Goonies? And if you’re reading this and you happen to be an Internet s—-talker, could it be because you think I’m Troy? Because honest to God, I’ve always fancied myself a Goonie; the underdog who toppled over the narrow-minded naysayers and walked away with a treasure.
So maybe this whole thing is one big misunderstanding and it turns out we don’t need to go down as a generation remembered as having spent the ’00s wearing our asses like hats after all. Maybe it will turn out that we needed a little time to figure out that in the end we’re all just a bunch of Goonies.”
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Posted to: Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer
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212 Comments
Any man who writes a post in a blog warning one of his exes to stop stalking or calling him is an immature insensitive calous bast*rd!
Jennifer should not invest too much emotion with Mayer, he wouldnt have qualms hurting her when its time for him to move on just lije what he did to Jessica S. Aniston should take a cue from her and not bring him to Cabos like she did with Vince, its bad omen. Not only that she and Vince broke up after the Cabos trip but Mayer also dumped Jessica after their own trip, I can still remember Jessica’s pics crying while the basta*d Mayer just stood there and left her.
It’s sad that the few times she’s photographed a month, she gets non-stop **** for it. It’s not like we see her everyday hamming it up for the cameras.
You know what, the best thing about this bashing and critizism is that NEITHER JENNIFER OR JOHN GIVES A F**K ABOUT WHAT U HAVE TO SAY lol lol lol lol!!!
Truvy:
Well said.
Hi to Jen Fan, Bet and all the Aniston fans today.
it really doesn’t surprise me that all you dumbasses are unable to read more than 3 sentences. as usual john has gone over your empty little heads.
!! @ 06/01/2008 at 2:46 pm You know what, the best thing about this bashing and critizism is that NEITHER JENNIFER OR JOHN GIVES A F**K ABOUT WHAT U HAVE TO SAY lol lol lol lol!!!
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And the irony, is that we also don’t give a s… about what they may think or read on a celeb blog ! They are celebs, They are talked about anyway.
Only stupid and stupider would think that poeple discussing celebs think bloggers discussion on a blog affect the celeb in question…eventhough those two already acknowledged that they read blogs heavily.
So no need for you to get upset to the point of pointing out that we give a f..k if they read or not or are affected by this or not!
Assuming this shows a level of immaturity and stupidity rarely reached.
p.s. john=talented & yummy
HEY @ 06/01/2008 at 12:22 pm
Please you people don’t rain on Jennifer Anistons parade leave that up to John.
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LOL This line is so good it deserves a medal. I bow in humility to your great wits.
HEY @ 06/01/2008 at 12:22 pm
Please you people don’t rain on Jennifer Anistons parade leave that up to John.
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LOL This line is so good it deserves a medal. I bow in humility to your great wits.
Christina @ 06/01/2008 at 3:00 pm
Hi to Jen Fan, Bet and all the Aniston fans today.
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Sweetie, you’ve named all of the Aniston fans.
bet @ 06/01/2008 at 2:15 pm
Damn, girl, you finally did it. You have written a post that is so incoherent I can’t make heads or tails of it.
Anybody who can translate that illiterate rant bet posted at 2:15 p.m., please tell the rest of us what the fcuk she is talking about. Thank you.
# 128 !! @ 06/01/2008 at 2:46 pm You know what, the best thing about this bashing and critizism is that NEITHER JENNIFER OR JOHN GIVES A F**K ABOUT WHAT U HAVE TO SAY lol lol lol lol!!!
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LOL, you maybe surprise, but they actually do give a fuc*k! In fact Mayer reads everything said about him in the net, and he surfs 24/7 to check news about him. He made a mistake of responding to NYPost aricle about him reading stuff about him 24/7, because by doing so it was proven that indeed he checks out the web all the time. And as you know, he seems to be in front of his computer all the time as he blogs!
And as for Jennifer, she also admitted that she checks out what is said about her in the web and admitted once, she tried to post stuff jus to clarify negative things about her. She is also a tabloid addict and reads all the stuff about her, so much so that she addresses negative stuff by making press releases to People mag.
Yeap he is doing what he do best blog and blog. He will blog all through the relationship and the break up.
It’s those break up blogs that will be remembered by all the media.
Jen fans keep rejoicing. Jessica Never thought he would have blog about her in the end.
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She’s not hiding her face, she’s pretending to hide her face.
(make it look real Jen)
And why is John so mad that people actually see thru this crap?
He’s playing a game he said he never would.
That’s why people think of him as a “Troy”.
Or better yet, a “Tool”.
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Just play your music man, leave all the other crap where it belongs, in the toilet!
LOL, you maybe surprise, but they actually do give a fuc*k! In fact Mayer reads everything said about him in the net, and he surfs 24/7 to check news about him. He made a mistake of responding to NYPost aricle about him reading stuff about him 24/7, because by doing so it was proven that indeed he checks out the web all the time. And as you know, he seems to be in front of his computer all the time as he blogs!
And as for Jennifer, she also admitted that she checks out what is said about her in the web and admitted once, she tried to post stuff jus to clarify negative things about her. She is also a tabloid addict and reads all the stuff about her, so much so that she addresses negative stuff by making press releases to People mag.
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So true they do care. They have such large egos. They are always looking. These two douche bags are made for each other but thats a bad thing she should have got someone that would have balenced her out better. He make her even more of a douche bag.
Jen Anniston and John Mayer are the Two Biggest Famewh*res in Hollywood Right Now, Surpassing ‘Speidy,’ (Heidi Montag & Spencer Pratt)
Only They Aren’t as Interesting.
At least Montag and Spencer do it on their own steam - Aniston, the 40 yr old Tv Sit-com Hack has to keep riding Brangelina coattails, and enlisting desperate Popster guitarists of questionable sexuality in sore need of damage control, to join in.
We of course KNOW, that insecure neurotic narcissistic BORES like Aniston and Mayer DO indeed give a f*ck. She gives Stephen Huvane 15% of her hundred million dollar ‘Friends TV show’ fortune to E-MAIL PEREZ HILTON, and ask him to STOP BEING MEAN…ROFLMAO - when that doesn’t work, she gifts him with a part on her close pal’s TV cable show, ‘Dirt.’ Hahahahaha!
Likewise, Mayer desperately gives a f*ck about what’s written and printed about him (that he’s GAY), because he’s with Aniston NOW, as part of a media damage control move over his makeout session with Perez Hilton. Both he, Aniston and Huvane - think it’s a win-win-win.
By dating the 40 year old TV sit-com HACK Aniston whose made a second career off of shiv’ing Brad Pitt in the back, and playing ‘victim,’ to the ‘evil Brangelina,’ Mayer gets people’s minds off the FACT that he tongued Perez Hilton and rolled his balls in his hands (Perez PASSED his US magazine administered LIE DETECTOR TEST folks, face it, IT HAPPENED!) , while Aniston/Huvane gets to take over the tabloids and ragloids in a Heidi Montag-like move the week of Brad & Angelina’s Cannes ‘08 debut. So simultaneously she will be once again debuting a ‘New Man!!’ all breathless like, NOT coincidentally the week Brad and Angelina conquer the WORLD.
She did the same thing last year with waterboy, gay escort and aging Brit model, Paul Sculfor. The first week in June, debuting in late May while Brad & Ange were in Cannes for A Mighty Heart and Ocean’s 13, and then Ocean’s 13 in Hollywood - Maniston and Huvane CONTRACTED with People Magazine to debut the ‘birth,’ of a fake newstory. Paul Sculfor was ‘born,’ around 3pm on May 23rd, 2007. Hahahahaha!! A healthy 156 pound male, of questionable sexuality that was being HIRED to ‘date’ Maniston so she wouldn’t look so pathetic. Pass out the cigars!! Hahahaha!
Cut to the same time THIS YEAR…and low and behold, Aniston once again, suddenly out of the clear blue, no warning, no previous contact catalogued by any of the mags, rags, etc — we have Aniston giving ‘birth,’ in a public pool in Miami, to a ‘New Man!!!,’ once again. Strategically staged exhibitionist photos running several days in a row, with increasing closeness each successive day ( I guess it would have looked REALLY fake to have the first pics of them frenching in front of old Uncle Joe cooling his toes in the baby pool). This time, we’ve got a guy a few years younger than Sculfor, and with his own pop star fame, but who’s a confirmed neurotic and narcissist. Once again, the poor young man finds himself in desperate need of an image overhaul and lots of hetero publicity in the wake of dry humping fat gay cuban gossip queen Perez.
…and yet SOMEHOW Aniston’s few desperate fans, want to ‘believe,’ this is real.
It’s actually quite sad. Aniston is like an aged hamster on a wheel, running in place, forever grabbing at ‘Brangelina,’ coattails…what’s even more pathetic….
…she’s been SUCH a hanger-on and parasitic leech, crafting this ‘wounded victim,’ and ‘I will survive,’ persona - and tieing herself to ‘Brangelina,’ as their eternal reject loser scorned woman ‘victim,’ she now is recruiting OTHER PEOPLE who are obsessed with Brangelina (wonder who Mayer ‘tips his head back and thinks of ,’ when Aniston is blowing him to help him finish…before the Perez makeout I would have definitely said Angelina, now NO QUESTION, it’s Brad Pitt). I think that’s why he’s WITH Aniston right now. He wants a piece of Brad’s coattail, in lieu of a piece of his asss.
Aniston as usual, shows herself to be so pathetic and just embarrassing.
With every year that goes by, each staged bit of nonsense (at 40 and middle aged no less), she shows herself to have been an embarrassing and mortifying chapter in Brad Pitt’s life. He sees that now. If he could wish her and her ugly fugly new plastic mug away he would.
..Jen, do yourself a BIG favor too — lay OFF the male hormones. You stopped them for a time, now we KNOW you’re back on them, as you’ve shrunk to NOTHING. Let’s be the age we are my dear, and stop trying to keep up with the Jess Simpsons and Minka Kelly’s of the world by trying to fit a size -00, it’s only going to make your plastic aged face, look even more haggard. Besides, as Perez can attest, John likes his girls with meat on their bones, a LOT of meat - as in d*ck. You don’t have that…I don’t think. Although maybe that explains your ‘Maniston,’ nickname??
Age as gracefully as someone as ugly as you can, my dear.
A Goonie?
I don’t think the Goonies smoke or drank? Or for the matter kissed gross people like Perez, well maybe Chunk did kiss that wierd guy.
I heard that Troy smoke and drank though, he probably even kissed a boy or two as well.
Love Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer is a very talented guy….never begrudge the friendship and happiness of others!
A Goonie?
I don’t think the Goonies smoke or drank, or for that matter kissed gross beings like Perez. Well maybe Chunk did kiss that odd guy.
I heard Troy smokes and drinks and kisses the occasional nasty boy!
Jennifer, please drop this douche bag. He is using you. You are going to be one of his mark on his bathroom wall.
You deserve better mature man.
John’s contract with Jennifer Aniston and Stephen Huvane, is scheduled to run through the birth of the twins, and shortly thereafter. Expect a breakup in late summer or early fall, with long stretches of separation in between.
Mayer was scheduled to NOT be in town, but it seems Huvane got fooled by all the false reports of the Brangelina twins, and called him in for duty a bit too early.
Why do you think there was a meet-up at one of the busiest papz places in Hollywood/Bev Hills?? Why, TO BE SEEN & reported on, of course.
They thought the deluge of Brangelina news/baby news was upon them so they were starting up with the titt for tat, and coattail riding the same as she and Huvane usually do.
Sorry about the fakeout John.
Hahaha.
I’m sure he won’t mind though - unlike somebody like Vince Vaughn who’s a grown, sane man.
Vaughn got way sick of the publicity whoring and machinations. He gladly gave it up. But it was hard to shake Aniston and Huvane. It wasn’t until he got ‘caught,’ diddling a co-ed (who blabbed to the tabloids) that Aniston was mortified enough to cut him loose, much to Vaughn’s relief.
I doubt this obnoxious self-absorbed immature semi-gay freak Mayer will start chafing a the bit like Vaughn though. Mayer lives for this sh*t.
He’s as obsessed with Brangelina as Jen is.
To the point I could totally see him staying on the scene until she has to kick him to the curb, when and if something better comes along. Not likely at her age, desperation, and lack of character as it’s shown itself these last few years. Mayer’s in the eye of the Brangelina wake, and he probably gets off on sh*tting and pizzing on Brad’s ex., BECAUSE she’s Brad’s ex (from all reports his fetishes kind of overtake him).
I wonder if he’s aware that Aniston will kill his career far worse than Simpson would have. Already my client’s 15 year old daughter who used to really like him a year or so ago, said she heard he was with Brad Pitt’s old ex-wife, and that he’s weird for kissing perez Hilton. But she is a BIG Angelina Jolie fan, and has joined one and the New Orleans programs for relief, so she’s probably a bit biased. But I think all of the kids probably feel as she does. He seems not hip at all. Not nearly hip enough to be a goony.
Goonies don’t hang with self absorbed plastic surgeried fake media manipulators. Nor do they contract to do damage control. You kissed Perze Hilton, admit it and move on. No need to kill the career twice dude, by hooking up with one of the worst no-talent famewh*res ever. I mean, at least Jessica could sing.
LOL
Talented for what? To become famous doing nothing interesting?
Why are my posts being held for moderation?
I think John Mayer is great. A little East Coast intellect (as opposed to Midwestern dullard) is nice for a change.
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